Celebrity jokes
So, my son is into astronomy, and he asked how stars die. I said, "Usually overdose."
Your mom is heavier than Mariah can even carry.
Why does Michael Jackson like twenty-eight year olds?
'Cause there are twenty of them.
I watched a documentary called "Redline Carrera: Birth of the Memes." It all started with Paul Walker.
How do you find Will Smith in the snow? Follow the fresh prints.
Memes
If Shaquille O’Neal had a boat, he would’ve named it Freethrow, because he will never sink it.
Today, I was at the Apple Store when I saw that a lot of phones were broken. When I looked around, I saw none other than Pristiano Penaldo smashing all the phones. He said he was mad because he ghosted vs a relegation team. Shame on you, Penaldo!
Why does Michael Jackson like to play golf?
He likes to hit small white balls.
What is fully grown but can fit through small objects? Michael Jackson.
What did The Rock say to his dad?
"I'm gonna Rock Bottom my cock down your throat!"
Why doesn't Adele swim properly?
Because she's rolling in the deep. 🤽♂️
I cannot believe Kelly Clarkson's music is considered pop! More like comatose music!
You're so cool that celebrities take pictures of you.
Yo momma's so fat, her shirt size has more X's than Taylor Swift.
Michael Jackson, who's terrified of adult women, once had a girlfriend, but broke it off with her. When she asked him why, he said, "It's not you, it's me-hee-hee."
Q: What was the last thing Kurt Cobain said to Courtney Love before he died?
A: “Holes gonna be big.”
Why is Stephen Hawking a bad influence on children?
Because he only looks one way when crossing the road.
What do Pink Floyd and Princess Diana have in common? Both of their greatest hits are "the wall."
Why do so many people hate Bill Cosby? I mean, all he did was have affairs with drunk, attention-seeking women. They literally begged for it.
Why are people surprised by Johnny Depp having $30,000 wine bills, domestic violence accusations, rampant substance abuse, poor hygiene, and the looks of a predator?
He grew up a Florida Man, after all.