Celebrity jokes
Chuck Norris didn't join the army, the army joined Chuck Norris.
How are laundry and Michael Jackson related?
They both got bleached!
If you leave your small children inside a shower with Kelly Clarkson, you're a filthy parent.
How did Michael Jackson challenge the victim's parents? "Then why won't you slap my face, because I'm bad?"
Michael Jackson was on a boat with a bunch of children. The boat captain comes up to him and says, "Michael, we've come into some trouble and the boat is about to sink. We need to get off the boat right now." "But what about the children?" The captain said, "F*** them." Michael Jackson responded, "Is there enough time?"
How did the Apple and the emo fall off the tree at the same time?
Because Paul Walker crashed into it.
What does Michael Jackson do with his meat? "Just beat it". His song btw lol.
Why was Michael Jackson so loved? He touched so many children in so many special ways.
Why is Donald Trump under so much stress?
Because he signed up to be on an album where somebody says "no love for the rich" on it.
What's the difference between Paul Walker and my computer?
When my computer crashes, I actually give a fuck.
Why did George Clooney like egg jokes?
Because he had good taste.
Which fish is the most famous? The star fish!
Why did Muhammad Ali go down? Because he couldn't stand the cancer.
What's the difference Michael Jackson and a play station have in common...
They're both plastic and kids turn them on.
There is this celebrity everybody thought was so down to earth. That was until he hung himself.
There's a new Michael Jackson biopic in the works. There is a possibility that we will know who his love interest was.
What we know so far: Billie Jean is not his lover, and that kid [seen with him] is not his son. We also know that Michael Jackson said that sharing his bed with little boys is "healing" and an act of "sharing the love," so take that as you will.
Why did Michael Jackson go to jail? He was feeling a little Randy.
Stephen Hawking walked in a bar...
Just kidding.
Q: What's stronger than family?
A: Whatever tree Paul Walker hit.
What's the difference between Kanye West and an orphan?
Kanye West has parents.