Celebrity jokes
Paul Walker made a new wrap cover, it's called "Flying Through the Windshield," and the song's name is "Crossing the Street."
What did the woman say to Michael Jackson at the beach?
"Excuse me, sir, you're in my son."
What do Michael Jackson and an Xbox have in common?
Little boys turn them on.
Q: What do you call deaf Magic Johnson?
A: Hearing Aids.
What kind of club is every parent afraid of their kid joining?
The Mikey Jackson club.
How do you spell the name of the most dangerous pedophile?
M-I-C-H-A-E-L J-O-S-E-P-H J-A-C-K-S-O-N
A frog goes into a bank and approaches the teller. He can see from her nameplate that the teller's name is Patricia Whack. So he says, "Ms. Whack, I'd like to get a loan to buy a boat and go on a long vacation."
Patti looks at the frog in disbelief and asks how much he wants to borrow.
The frog says $30,000.
The teller asks his name and the frog says that his name is Kermit Jagger, his dad is Mick Jagger, and that it's OK, he knows the bank manager.
Patti explains that $30,000 is a substantial amount of money and that he will need to secure some collateral against the loan. She asks if he has anything he can use as collateral.
The frog says, "Sure. I have this," and produces a tiny pink porcelain elephant, about half an inch tall, bright pink and perfectly formed.
Very confused, Patti explains that she'll have to consult with the manager and disappears into a back office.
She finds the manager and says "There's a frog called Kermit Jagger out there who claims to know you and wants to borrow $30,000. He wants to use this as collateral." She holds up the tiny pink elephant. "I mean, what the heck is this?"
The bank manager looks back at her and says: "It's a knick knack, Patti Whack. Give the frog a loan. His old man's a Rolling Stone."
When Mother Teresa went to heaven, she was greeted by Saint Peter with a halo for her dedication to the needy. After walking around for a while, she saw Lady Diana with a bigger halo. She got angry at Lady Diana and went to Saint Peter and asked him why she had a bigger one, and Saint Peter said, "Oh, that’s not a halo, that’s a steering wheel."
Why does Michael Jackson like to shop at Walmart?
Little boys' pants are half off!
What did the lady say to Michael Jackson at the beach?
"Excuse me, you're in my sun (son)."
Stephen Hawking walked in a bar...
Just kidding.
Good news, people! Michael Jackson is still alive. They found him hidden away in a goat pen with all the kids!
What's worse than ants in your pants?
Michael Jackson.
What are Michael Jackson's pronouns?
He, he.
What is Michael Jackson's favorite game? Jacks.
Why? He loved to play with the little balls.
Why did Michael Jackson rush over to K-Mart one morning?
Because he heard little boys' pants were half off!
You know I'm not too into black girls, but Kobe's daughter was smoking!
What did the girls on the beach say to Michael Jackson?
"Could you move? Your sun is in my son."
What's the opposite of Christopher Walken?
Christopher Reeve.
What brand of paint did Michael Jackson use to paint Neverland Ranch?
Dutch Boy.
I was sweating like Michael Jackson in a Chuck E. Cheese.