Celebrity jokes
The time when Michael Jackson came in his pajamas during the trial. Whether or not it was because he saw a 7-year-old boy has yet to be determined.
What do Ellen DeGeneres and homeless people have in common?
They don’t cook because they love eating out.
What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a carrier bag? One is plastic and dangerous for kids to play with, and the other is a carrier bag.
What do you call being run over by Michael Jackson?
Being hit by... Being struck by... A smooth criminal.
What's the difference between what Bill Cosby did and what OJ Simpson did? OJ Simpson's victims actually suffered and I actually feel bad for them (the boyfriend at least).
Memes
What do Michael Jackson and Tesco carrier bags have in common? They’re both made out of plastic and harmful to children.
Where did Kobe go after the helicopter crashed? Everywhere.
Did you know that people say Michael Jackson only became a pedophile when he was white?
Lucky for him, if he was black he would have been found guilty.
Q: What was the last thing Kurt Cobain said to Courtney Love before he died?
A: “Holes gonna be big.”
Michael Jackson, who's terrified of adult women, once had a girlfriend, but broke it off with her. When she asked him why, he said, "It's not you, it's me-hee-hee."
Q. What does Michael Jackson get his sex partners as a gift?
A. Crayons.
What does Johnny Depp hate about driving a car?
He can't drink and drive.
What does Michael Jackson and Chef from South Park have in common?
They both say "Hello children!"
What is the difference between the Twin Towers and Elton John?
Elton John is still standing.
What do Santa Claus and Bill Cosby have in common?
They both come while you’re asleep.
What does Michael Jackson like to eat? Little wieners.
What is Michael Jackson's favorite snack? 5 year old whiners.
How do you get a boy to share something? Bring in Michael Jackson's bed.
Why is Kanye West's haircut actually years of work by many doctors to piece together skull fragments like a jigsaw puzzle?
Because Kanye once interrupted Chuck Norris on the set of "Walker Texas Ranger."
Why did Michael Jackson dangle a baby over a balcony?
He wanted to clean out the blanket.