Celebrity jokes
What do Michael Jackson and Tesco carrier bags have in common? They’re both made out of plastic and harmful to children.
Where did Kobe go after the helicopter crashed? Everywhere.
Q. What does Michael Jackson get his sex partners as a gift?
A. Crayons.
Q: What was the last thing Kurt Cobain said to Courtney Love before he died?
A: “Holes gonna be big.”
What does Johnny Depp hate about driving a car?
He can't drink and drive.
Memes
What does Michael Jackson and Chef from South Park have in common?
They both say "Hello children!"
What is the difference between the Twin Towers and Elton John?
Elton John is still standing.
What do Santa Claus and Bill Cosby have in common?
They both come while you’re asleep.
What does Michael Jackson like to eat? Little wieners.
What is Michael Jackson's favorite snack? 5 year old whiners.
How do you get a boy to share something? Bring in Michael Jackson's bed.
Why is Kanye West's haircut actually years of work by many doctors to piece together skull fragments like a jigsaw puzzle?
Because Kanye once interrupted Chuck Norris on the set of "Walker Texas Ranger."
Why did Michael Jackson dangle a baby over a balcony?
He wanted to clean out the blanket.
Oh, Lois, that was more scary than Michael Jackson without pants in front of a kid!
What do Michael Jackson and Linus have in common? They both carry a little blanket.
What did Michael Jackson say before he died, as far as his childhood? "This is it."
What was Michael Jackson's favorite word to say to parents and tabloids? "Leave me alone."
Who did Michael Jackson want to be like? The man in the mirror.
Why did Michael Jackson allow little boys to sleep in his house? Because he's bad.
What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Farrah Fawcett? Six hours.