Celebrity jokes
I work as an IT technician. The other day, I had to fix Cristiano Ronaldo’s laptop. He pointed to a message on the screen saying, “Do you consent to cookies?” He said that he doesn’t eat cookies and doesn’t know what consent means, so that’s why he called me.
Can anyone answer this riddle? Apparently this is the world's hardest riddle! Good luck 😝
“I turn polar bears white, and I will make you cry. I make guys have to pee, and girls comb their hair. I make celebrities look stupid, and normal people look like celebrities.”
Paul's favorite car.
A Carrera GT.
How do you know Johnny Depp finished his meal?
When you see fifty empty bottles of wine on his front doorstep.
What do Santa Claus and Bill Cosby have in common?
They both come while you’re asleep.
What does Johnny Depp hate about driving a car?
He can't drink and drive.
Why did Michael Jackson allow little boys to sleep in his house? Because he's bad.
What does Michael Jackson and Chef from South Park have in common?
They both say "Hello children!"
What's the quickest way to get money besides winning the lottery?
Leaving your son with Michael Jackson.
What do Michael Jackson and Linus have in common? They both carry a little blanket.
What was Michael Jackson's favorite word to say to parents and tabloids? "Leave me alone."
What did Michael Jackson say before he died, as far as his childhood? "This is it."
Who did Michael Jackson want to be like? The man in the mirror.
Why didn't Michael Jackson date 25 year olds?
Because there were only 20 of them.
Why does Michael Jackson like 44-year-olds? There's 4 of them.
Oh, Lois, that was more scary than Michael Jackson without pants in front of a kid!
What Costco food is associated with Michael Joseph Jackson?
The Jackson dog. It's 49-year-old sausage between 6-year-old buns.
Why did Michael Jackson dangle a baby over a balcony?
He wanted to clean out the blanket.
What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Farrah Fawcett? Six hours.
Did you know that people say Michael Jackson only became a pedophile when he was white?
Lucky for him, if he was black he would have been found guilty.