What did they do with Michael Jackson when he died?
They melted him down and turned him into Lego, so kids could play with him for once.
What does an Xbox/PlayStation and Michael Jackson have in common?
Kids turn them on.
Kobe Bryant and 9/11 are two things I don't joke about because when I do, they tend to crash and burn.
What does Michael Jackson and an Xbox have in common?
They're both turned on by kids.
Why did Michael Jackson go to jail? He was feeling a little Randy.
Where did Kobe go after the helicopter crashed? Everywhere.
I was asking people who knew Trump if he would win a second term. Stormy said, "No way, he doesn't have two in him!"
What do Michael Jackson and Tesco carrier bags have in common? They’re both made out of plastic and harmful to children.
What's the difference between what Bill Cosby did and what OJ Simpson did? OJ Simpson's victims actually suffered and I actually feel bad for them (the boyfriend at least).
Michael Jackson goes to the doctor.
Michael Jackson: "Help, doctor, I've been shot!" Doctor: "I can't fix that, but I can change your skin color so it doesn't happen again."
Girl playing outside: "Step on a line and you break your mommy's spine." She then steps on a line and her mother keels over screaming.
Girl playing outside: "Step on a crack and you break daddy's back." She steps on a crack the mailman next door then keels over screaming.
The husband starts celebrating, gets in the car, and starts to drive away.
The son comes outside and steps on a crack.
The dad then dies in a car crash.
A very rich and famous comedian walked into a Russian bar and asked for a vodka, but the bar man (a big fan of his) answered to him: - "This vodka isn't good enough for you." - "If it is good enough for you it is good enough for me!"
Which fish is the most famous?
The star fish!
How many times does Ariana Grande knock at the door?
She doesn’t, she just uses 7 rings.
Why does Michael Jackson do positions with kids in photos? Because they won’t do the same for him.
What does Michael Jackson and maths have in common? They're both hard for kids.
Q. If I go 1 on 1 with Harvey Weinstein, I won't get raped?
A. I'm not a 14-year-old girl.
Your forehead's so big that Michael Jackson could moonwalk across that b*tch.
What do you call being run over by Michael Jackson?
Being hit by... Being struck by... A smooth criminal.
Why did Paul Walker cross the road?
He wasn’t wearing a seat belt.
