Cause

Cause Jokes

Woman

Why do women rub their eyes when they wake up?

'Cause they don't got balls to scratch.

Orphan

Why can orphans never go to the shops?

'Cause the Talibans will plane dive into them.

Marathon

Did you hear about the Boston marathon? 'Cause, well, I heard it was a blast and that it blew everyone away!

Lesbian

Do you know the number one cause of death for lesbians?

Getting your fingers stuck in there.

Guy

These two guys were at a bar flirting with these girls. The guy says, "Are you a parking ticket, 'cause you got fine written all over you?"

The girl turns and says, "How about you pay for them, and then I can pay you back with me getting all over you?"

Momma

Your Momma's so fat, the recursive function calculating her mass causes a stack overflow.

Dog

So you know there's like dog mixes, right? Like a Snoodle and that stuff, right? So why can't a bulldog and a shih tzu be mixed? 'Cause if they did, it would be called bullshit.

Janitor

Kid: Hi.

Janitor: Wtf you want, kid?

Kid: Why are you rude?

Janitor: 'Cause I have a shitty job.

Sister

Sister: Hey sis, how are you today?

Me: Oh, good, you?

Sister: Good, 'cause I heard you finally got a good living life.

Orphan

Why do orphans go to church?

Because it's the only place where they get to call him "father."

Mom

Your mom's so heavy that it caused Atlas, the Titan, to slip a disc.