Cause jokes
Why did the octopus cross the road?
'Cause he was on the same side as a sushi restaurant.
I thought you played football 'cause you're hairline is receiving.
Why is the orphan cold?
'Cause there's no one to cuddle with.
Why did the orphan get an iPhone X? Because there's no home button.
Why are Nepalese bad at chess?
Because someone already killed their king!
VAPING IS ALSO BAD
I'm hard right now.
'Cause you're a DICKstraction. ;)
Why did the Royal Wedding get more publicity than the SantaFe school shooting?
'Cause Royal Weddings don't happen every week.
Did you hear about the Boston marathon? 'Cause, well, I heard it was a blast and that it blew everyone away!
Are you suicide? Cause I'm tryna commit to you.
Cause she loves to toss the salad even though she ain’t a chef!
Did you fart, cause you blew me away?
Why can't orphans use a phone?
Because they can't find the home button.
Hey girl, are your pants a mirror? 'Cause I can see myself in them.
"Suicide is the 10th leading cause of death"?
Maybe in infidel America but.... it is #1 in the Glorious Iran.
🇮🇷🇮🇷🇮🇷🇮🇷
There are only women's rights causes because they leave you.
Do you wanna eat makeup, 'cause you're not pretty on the inside?
Your hairline is what caused the Great Depression.
Q: Why are the 49ers called the 49ers?
A: 'Cause they can't make it past the 50-yard line.
Why do kids like bananas?
'Cause they like doing the nana.
1. If being ugly was a crime, you would have a life sentence.
2. My phone battery lasts longer than your friendships.
3. There is a tree out there giving you oxygen, and you owe that tree an apology.
4. I don’t hate you, but I gotta unplug your life support to charge my phone.
5. When I saw your dad on the sidewalk, I didn’t laugh, but the sidewalk cracked up.
6. If I had powers, I would make you the dumbest person alive, but it seems life already beat me to the punch.
7. If karma ever comes to punch ya in the face, I wanna be there to help it.
8. If I had a dollar for every time you said something smart, I’d be broke.
9. You are more disappointing than a cake without frosting.
10. Were you born on a highway, 'cause that’s where most accidents happen?
11. Wow, that hurts, now I know how it felt when your mom said that to ya.
12. You're the reason this country has to put directions on shampoo, and you may as well be the reason why the middle finger was invented.