what sound do you get when you cross a cow with a cat?
Meow.
Curiousity killed the cat. But for a while I was a suspect
What does a stray cat/dog have in commo..? Both of them don't have a home 😂😂😂
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
what looks like half a cat?
the other half
What did one ☝️ cat 🐈 say to the other? Happy 😃
Where did the cat go when it lost it's tail? -- To the retail store!
Somebody asked me whats that on your arm I just said "My cats got ocd"
There were three people on the third floor of a building the first one took a bite of a apple then said it was too hard so he threw it out the window the second person took a bite of a lemon he said it was too sour so he threw it out the window the third guy was drunk, he took a bite of a grenade and thought it was to crunchy so he threw it out the window then one of them went downstairs he saw a dog laying on the ground dead the apple had hit the dog in the head then there was a little girl crying with her cat in her lap it had died because the lemon fell out the window and hit it in the head next there was a old guy laughing i asked him why he was laugh he said "i farted and the building behind me blew up".
A fish was swimming around in a pond when he noticed a fly flyin around about six inches above the water. He thought, “if that fly drops six inches, I could have myself a nice meal.”
There was a bear watching the fish watching the fly. He thought, “if that fly drops six inches, that fish will come up for that fly, and I can catch that fish and have myself a nice meal.”
There was a hunter watching the bear watching the fish watching the fly. He thought, “if that fly drops six inches, the fish will get the fly, the bear will go for the fish, and I can shoot the bear and have myself a nice meal.”
There was a mouse watching the hunter watching the bear watching the fish watching the fly. He thought, “if that fly drops six inches, the fish will get the fly, the bear will get the fish, the hunter will shoot the bear, drop his sandwich and I can have myself a nice meal.”
There was a cat in a tree watching the mouse watching the hunter watching the bear watching the fish watching the fly. He thought, “if that fly drops six inches, the fish will get the fly, the bear will get the fish, the hunter will shoot the bear, drop his sandwich, the mouse will go for the sandwich, and I can catch that mouse and have myself a nice meal.”
Then it all happened
The fly dropped six inches
The fish came up and caught the fly
The bear came out and caught the fish
The hunter got up to shoot the bear and dropped his sandwich
The mouse went for the sandwich
The cat jumped from the tree, missed, and landed in the pond
The lesson that can be learned here is that every time a fly drops six inches, a pussy gets wet.
Men: "I like dogs."
Women: "I like cats."
Chinese: "Food is food."
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
I came home from school One day and told my cat a kid at school said I was an idiot and told me to go kick rocks so I did except I kicked him out him and I called him the idiot for not moving out of the way
I once had a cat that reminded me of Doug Ford. Fat, mean and probably inbred.
How do you know cat's don't always land on their feet?
Mufasa.
If the hairdresser is healthy, the cat is happy. *purr* On the other hand, if the hairdresser is sick, the cat is happy too. *purrs on the bed*
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
That moment when you have to ask your Chinese neighbor if he's seen your cat
If I smiled one centimeter each time I watched someone I hated die, I'd look like the cheshire cat.
