SOOOO my sister said her first bad word yesterday. Shit. My mum was like what did you just say child??? Sister: I said the cat shits inside like the dog shi- uh oh...... Now I've avoided this stuff by making my own word: Sugarplum. Sugarplum = shit...
My sister made some pie and it tasted horribly... so I said this.... This pie is very sugarplum-y. She said what do you mean by that? I said It tastes like sugarplums...
The pastor sees little Johnny sitting on the church steps. Little Johnny is fixated on something. The pastor looks closer and sees that Johnny is stirring up something in an old coffee can. He says, "What you got there little Johnny?" "This here is turpentine, the most POWERFUL liquid in the world.", says Johnny. The pastor shakes his head, sits down next to Johnny and says, "Now you know that's not true son. Holy water is the most powerful liquid in the world. One drop of holy water on a pregnant woman's stomach and the next morning she'll pass a baby boy." Little Johnny says, "Well that may be true. But one drop of this on a cats ass and he'll pass a motorcycle!"
What's the difference between a cat and a human? About 500 bullets.
What do you call peg and cat from peg + cat? Egg + splat. Eggy joke for all too enjoy
hi i.............................................................................................................. sorr y my cat t f my cat touched my computtter i dont know where how to deleete. the joe is the joke is that f if you if jj sorry its har d to type the joke is that if y if you
if you i taking a cap if you if if you take a cap off a bottle is it decaptai decapit j decapti decapitation soryr guys sorry guys its g h its a aha h h a ah ah a hard word to spell
What animal has more lives than a cat?
A frog. It Croaks every night
Why do risky people have cats
So they have 10 live with them
Q: How do you turn a cat into a fish?
A: Tell the woman not to wash down there
Goats are like mushrooms. If you shoot a cat, I'm scared of toasters.
there's a kid with loads of new fire men equipment and sees a fire engine go past and the kids asks the firemen come have a look at my new gear so the fire men go look at his gear so then the kid says kid: I've got a helmet a big jacket and a oxygen tank and a little wheel barrow for my gear
firemen says: why is there a rope tied around a cat's balls the kid says so I can have a siren nnnnnnnnnnneeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwweeeeeeeeeeennnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn
why did the fastest cat get kicked out of school
he was a cheetah
When a cat gets a sibling do they say Oh shit another mew kid?!?!?!?!
Kat what I did a cat jump over the road because he believes he came flying in the clouds Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Hah Hah Hah Hah Hah Hah Hah Hah Hah Hah Hah Hah Hah Hah Hah Hah Hah Hah Hah so funniest kitten kitten kitten kidding is my last time ofDo you Joooooooooooooooooooooookin
if I were a cat I'd spend all nine of my lives with you
My Cat sleeps about 20 hours a day. She has her food prepared for her. She can eat whenever she wants, 24/7/365. Her meals are provided at no cost to her. She visits the Dr. once a year for her checkup, and again during the year if any medical needs arise. For this she pays nothing, and nothing is required of her. She lives in a nice neighborhood in a house that is much larger than she needs, but she is not required to do any upkeep. If she makes a mess, someone else cleans it up. She has her choice of luxurious places to sleep. She receives these accommodations absolutely free. She is living like a queen, and has absolutely no expenses whatsoever. All of her costs are picked up by others who go out and earn a living every day. I was just thinking about all this, and suddenly it hit me like a brick in the head, Holy Sh*t, my Cat is a Democrat!
What did the cat say when he fell off the table? * MEOM!
WHY DID THE CATS GO IN THE LITTERBOX?? TO TAKE A POOP
Q: If a cat says to a dog all dogs are liars and the dog says to the cat all cats are liars what does it mean?
A; It means cats and dogs can talk.
