Car jokes
Why did the Jew get an electric car?
Because he was afraid of the gas.
What's the worst part about hearing a special needs kid getting hit by a car?
Having to listen to the wheelchair scraping for a mile and a half.
*gets hit by a car*
Passerby: "ARE YOU OKAY?"
Me: "Please...I need my...phone."
*opens twitter*
Me: "LMFAOOOOOOO YALL GUESS WHAT"
If blind people could play go-kart, it very quickly turns into bumper cars.
What is Stephen Hawking's favourite car?
Rolls Royce.
Also me on the car ride home:
How many babies does it take to paint wheels red?
It depends on your speed.
A guy tried to suffocate himself with his BMW exhaust, but his engine failed.
This is the first time German engineering fails to gas someone.
Why did the frog take the train to work? His car got toad.
I drove through a school zone and found out you can drag a speed bump 😬.
How do you take care of all the babies you just crushed with your car?
Open a pizza shop 🍕
Alcoholics don't run in my family, they drive.
Ayo imagine having a chocolate fountain, but instead it cost a billion dollars a gallon and you have a hundred thousands, that number will never equate to how many porno magazines and alcoholic beverages and malty liquors stolen from my brother's bedroom as a desperate attempt at being edgy. Ayo, maybe instead of the future cars being powered by petroleum oil and gas, but with hot chocolate.
Why did Hittle kill himself? Because he wanted to buy a car, but then Hittler farted.
What's the difference between COVID and 9/11?
I've never heard of someone dying in a car accident, and the media blaming it on 9/11.
What is the world's strongest material?
The tree that Paul Walker hit.
You could say Japanese car fans and ancient Egyptians are alike—they both worship Datsun.
Why did the suicidal person cross the road? He was waiting for a car.
My mom bought me a car, and she called me an ungrateful b*tch because I sat in my wheelchair the whole time.
A man went to a Ford dealership hoping to find a car, but he said they weren't affordable.
A young, innocent little girl is playing hopscotch, and she says, "You step on a crack, you break your mama's back." Then she steps on a crack, so her mother's back proceeded to break slowly. Then she said, "You step on a line, you break your dada's spine," but the neighbor's spine broke, and in happiness, the thought-to-be previous father gets in his car and drives through the garage door...