My daughter said i could never make a car out of spaghetti, you should have seen the look on her face when I drove pasta!!!!
I was driving with my parent and shouted its a super hero but i didnt know it was a emo kid
I got in a car crash with a dwarf one day. He came storming out, and glared at me. I lowered my window and called out "So, I'm guessing you're not happy?".
What do u call a gay drive by a fruit roll up
A man is driving down the road and runs over a rabbit, he slams on his brakes, gets out and walks up to the flattened bunny. The bunny is obviously expired. A passing car slams on it’s brakes and screeches to a halt. The driver of that car runs up to the bunny pulls out an aerosol can and sprays the bunny with the aerosol spray. The Bunny jumps up runs a few feet, then stops, turns around and waves it’s paw at the two men. Runs away a few more feet, stops, turns around and waves at the two men. Runs away a few more feet, stops, turns around and waves at the two men. He continues to do this until he’s out of sight. The first driver looks at the man with the aerosol can and says “Wow that is amazing, what is in that can” the man looks at the can and reads the label “Hair restorer, with a permanent wave”.
Americans be like: Here is the US, we drive on the right side of the road.
England be like: Here in the UK, we drive on the left side of the road.
Russians after a car accident be like: Here in Russia, road is road.
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
A young boy is stood on the top of a cliff crying. A priest approaches and says, 'why are you crying my son?' 'my parents just crashed the car off the cliff and died,' 'it's just not your day today is it' Said the priest, unbuttoning his flies.
I like my women like I like my traction control disabled.
Want to know how to fit 71 people in the car? 2 in the front while we handle 69 in the back.
My parents told me I was born on the highway.
Aparently that’s where most accidents happen.
The Average French Car has 7 Gears, 6 of which are in reverse mode just in case the Germans come back
What type of car did hitler drive? A gas-guzzler.
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
I wanted to learn how to drive a stick shift, but I couldn't find a manual.
Today is sad my sister got hit by a car and I lost my license as a driver
When is a car not a car? When it turns into a driveway. 🥁
A guy goes onto a rooftop bar, and is sitting next to a guy who says he’s drinking a magical drink. He asks “What’s so magical about it?” the guy drives a car and flies it around the rooftop. the other tries, but falls of and dies.
The bartender shakes his head, and says.
"Y’know, you’re a real jerk when you’re drunk superman.
Son: Hey Dad, what's an alcoholic?
Dad: Well son, do you see those 4 cars? An alcoholic would we 8.
Son: Dad, there are only 2 cars.
What’s loud, red and goes at 200mph?
Paul Walker’s Porsche
