Cant jokes
I'm such a perfectionist that I can't even fail an autism test.
What kind of bee can't fly?
A KOBE.
Skeletons can't play church music, obviously. They got no organs.
Q) What do you call Iron Man when he can't swim?
A) Robert Drowney Jr.
It's not rape if they can't say no. Duct tape.
He was telling the truth in a different way...
I can’t believe it’s been over a year since Kobe decided he’s too good to wait in traffic.
Why can't Miss Piggy count to 70?
Because when she gets to 69 there's a frog in her throat.
So, an Irish man is walking his poodle, and his buddy comes running up to him saying there’s a new pub in town and they’re giving out free pints.
So the man picks up his dog and runs like hell to the bar. But the bar owner stops him and says, "Sorry, you can’t go in." The Irish man says, "Why can’t I go in?" "Well, you have a dog, sir, and that sign over there says no dogs allowed. You’re going to have to leave him outside." Well, the Irish man thinks quick and says, "I’m blind; it’s a seeing eye dog." The owner says, "That’s ridiculous. A seeing eye dog would be a German shepherd or golden Labrador or something like that." The Irish man says, "Well, what kind of dog did they give me??"😂
How many feminists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Infinite because feminists can't solve problems.
Why can't Asians make a white baby?
Cause two wongs don't make a white.
Your mom is so fat that she can't get internet because she is worldwide.
I cum (Can't understand math).
What does a bicycle and Jade Goody have in common?
They can't reach 30.
Son: Dad, I had sex for the first time.
Dad: Would you like to talk about it?
Son: Sure.
Dad: Sit down and let's talk about it.
Son: I can't, my butt hurts.
Why are there no pharmacies in Africa?
Because you can't have medicine on an empty stomach.
Expectation: "Brr, I’m cold!" "Here brother! I’ll give you my jacket, I don’t want you to be cold!"
Reality: "Brr, I’m cold!" "Well, damn bro, I can’t control the weather."
What's yellow and can't swim?
A dead goldfish.
Why can't orphans have a five-star GTA because they're not wanted?
Why can't homosexuals get car insurance?
They've been rear-ended too many times.
Why can't dinosaurs clap?
Because they're dead.