Cant jokes
These two cannibals are sitting by the campfire having dinner. One says, "I can't stand my mother-in-law." The other says, "So, just eat the potatoes."
Can bees fly higher than Mt. Everest? No? Actually, they can. Mt. Everest can't fly.
Why can't a blind person eat fish?
They can't see food.
Why can't orphans be gay?
They don't have a closet to come out of.
Why can't an orphan sign up for adoption websites?
Parental Login: __________
What do you call a deaf animal?
Anything, it can't hear you.
The Titanic before the iceberg be like: "We can't go under it, we gotta go through it!"
What sucks about disabled people?
They can't stand up for themselves.
What's an orphan's least favorite game?
Baseball because they can't find home plate.
Why can't an orphan watch the movie:
It was family rated.
What has eyes but can't see?
Potatoes, storms, and needles.
Why can't orphans play basketball?
They don't know where home is.
Why can't an orphan play baseball?
They never reach home.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because there would be no home base.
Why can't people in wheelchairs be gay? Cuz you can't be a fruit and a vegetable at the same time.
Why do orphans get to watch rated R movies? Because their parents can't stop them.
It turns out a major new study recently found that humans eat more bananas than monkeys. It's true.
I can't remember the last time I ate a monkey.
What is one thing blind people and orphans have in common?
They both can't see their parents.
Why do orphans hate health ed at school?
Their parents can't opt them out of it.
I asked the gym instructor,
"Can you teach me to do the splits?"
"How flexible are you?" he asked.
"Well, I can't make it on Fridays."