Cant jokes
What's yellow and can't swim?
A school bus full of screaming children.
What did the cow say to his relatives on Christmas day?
Moorry Christmas!
(Even though cows can't really have religions.)
What is a car that runs and can't?
What's one thing a homing missile can't kill?
An orphan.
What is the difference between an egg and a wank? You can beat an egg, but you can't beat your...
UHM U CANT CALL PPLS FAT NOWADAYS
The department of touch yourself is coming to the UK near you. I hope Scotland gets freedom. I can't wait to leave England and live in Scotland.
I can't have my Oreos 😭 Why?
My dad still hasn't came back with that God damn milk.
I can't remember the last full conversation I had with my grandfather.
Good thing is, since he hit his head, he can't remember either.
What do you call a can opener that doesn't work? A can't opener.
What has legs but can't walk?
A veteran.
Why can't orphans play baseball? Because they can't find home.
Why can't Kobe go shopping?
He's dead.
What's Yellow and can't swim?
A bus full of dead babies.
Why can't Jordan moan? Because his parents are in the room next to him. Asleep.
Roses are red, Your mum's a queer, Fucking hell, Can’t get out of first gear!
Why do kids like to pick on orphans?
Because they can't call their parents.
Why can’t an orphan play baseball??
They can’t hit a home run! 😂
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
Because they don’t know where home plate.
Your forehead is so big when you walk by I can't see what's in front of me.
What bee doesn’t fly properly?
Kobe.