Cant jokes

What's the food orphans can't eat?

Family-sized ice cream.

Why can't orphans cross the street? Because they can't go home.

Why can’t orphans play baseball?

They can’t get to home run!

You: OMG I CAN'T BELIEVE ALL THE KRAP THEY HAVE BEEN THROUGH!

The other person: Who?

You aka answer: Your Butt cheeks.

There's only 3 types of people: the ones who can count and the ones that can't.

Why can't orphans play baseball? Because they can't run home.

Your cut [is] so broke, even Bob the Builder can't fix it.

Why can't England play chess?

Because they have no queen, and they will soon lose their king.

Why shouldn't orphans get a phone?

They would get stuck in an app because they can't find the home button.

Your hairline is so screwed that Michael Jackson can't even moonwalk to your hairline.

What do you give a armless kid for Christmas?

Nothing because they can't open the gift.

How do you punish Helen Keller? You stick a toilet plunger in the toilet.

Why can't Helen Keller have kids? It went up too far.

What is an emo's most hated game? Hangman.

Because it's rubbing it in their face that they can't hang themselves.

Why can't orphans have a funeral? Because their parents won't be there.

Most of the people here: That's not funny, lots of people died.

Bruh, why are you in here if you can't take a joke?

Why can't an orphan be gay? Because they have no one to call "daddy."

Why can't an orphan have sex?

Because they can't call them "daddy."

Why can't orphans play baseball?

Because they can't find home.

Little Johnny was living with his grandpa during the summer. Well, grandpa had a beer, and Johnny said, "Grandpa, let me get a sip of that." Grandpa said, "Well, lil Johnny, does your d**k reach your a**?" And lil Johnny said, "Well no sir." And grandpa said, then no, you can't.

Later that day, papaw (grandpa) had a cigar, and Johnny said let me get a hit of that, and papaw asked, "Well, Johnny, does your d**k reach your a**?" And Johnny said no again. Then papaw was shooting his gun, and Johnny asked if he could shoot it, and grandpa asked Johnny if his d**k reached his a**, and Johnny said no.

Well, after supper, Johnny's grandma made Johnny some ice cream (the most amazing bowl of ice cream EVER), and grandpa said, "Johnny, let me get a bit of that ice cream," and Johnny asked papaw, "Well, papaw, does your d**k reach your a**?" And papaw said, "Well, Johnny, as a matter of a fact, it does," and Johnny said, "Good, now go f**k yourself because you ain't getting none of my ice cream!"

You're so ugly, even a Snapchat filter can't fix it.