Cant jokes
Why can’t a kid with ADHD shoot a gun?
Because their focus is way off.
Why can't orphans have a five-star GTA because they're not wanted?
What's yellow and can't swim?
A dead goldfish.
Why can't dinosaurs clap?
Because they're dead.
Yo mama is so fat that when she walks, she causes earthquakes. She is so big that she has her own zip code and gravity field. She is so heavy that she needs a crane to get out of bed. She is so obese that she can't fit in any clothes, except for a circus tent. She is so large that she blocks the sun and causes eclipses.
Why can't religious women be raped? Because they are taught to never say no!
Say what you will of pedophiles, but you can't ignore their problem with immature ejaculation.
What does a pizza delivery man and a gynecologist have in common?
They can both smell it, but they can’t eat it.
Why can't orphans play online games? Because they don't have parents to sign them up.
Stage 4 cancer is like a woman. You can’t beat it, but if you do, she’ll probably come back again.
Why can't orphans work at S.C Johnson?
Because it is a family company. 😂 😂
In some places in the world, you can't get an abortion even after rape. That's so fucked up.
You serve your time, you get out, and you STILL have to pay child support. What a nightmare.
Joe mama is so fat, Dora can't explore her.
Why can't you kill a depressed person?
Because they are already dead inside.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they can't find home.
Why can't a blonde call 911?
She can't find the 11.
A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse.
"But why?" they asked, as they moved off.
"Because," he said, "I can't stand chess-nuts boasting in an open foyer."
It's not rape if they can't say no. Duct tape.
Why can't Mexicans play Uno?
Because they can't get a green card.
I got my daughter a fridge for her birthday.
I can’t wait to see her face light up when she opens it.