Cant jokes
Why can't orphans tell jokes?
They have no one to tell them to, people.
Why does Blake eat cake? Because Caleb can't.
Why can’t orphans do homeschool? They don’t have a home to do so.
I'm lonely, but all I have is my cheeseburger, but what is the matter of living if you only have one thing?
But a cheeseburger is all you need 'cause it has 1,000,000,000,000 bucks man, so I can't just take it and spend it wherever I want.
Why can't orphans play Monopoly?
Because they can't put a house.
My teacher: Time can't count.
Me: Every second counts.
My teacher: Ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooohhhhhh!
Why can’t orphans live?
They don’t have parents.
I'm supposed to put a joke here.
But I can't find a mirror...can you find one yourself?
I'm sure you'll laugh.
Little Johnny’s father walks into the bathroom and catches him masturbating. He says, “Son, every time you do that, you kill an innocent baby.”
The next day, his father walks into the bathroom and catches him again. Johnny says, “Bow your head, Dad. Can’t you see we’re having a funeral?”
Student: There are 505 rocks in a car. If 8 fall out, how many are left?
Teacher: There will be 497 rocks left.
Student: Ok!!
Student: How do you put an alligator in a closet?
Teacher: You can't, it won't fit.
Student: No!! Just open the door, put the alligator in, then close the door.
Teacher: Ohhh, now I get it.
Dead people can’t cross the street because they're dead, ha ha!
What's the difference between a fish and a guitar?
You can tuna guitar, but you can't tuna fish!
The most famous line from Shakespeare’s play Julius Caesar is “Et tu, Brute?”
Why can’t he just speak plain English?
"911, I just crashed my car. I think it's burning. I can't see. It hurts to breathe."
What’s yellow and can’t swim? A school bus.
I know this is a really bad poem, but I'll do it anyway 'cause I have nothing else to do.
'Twas so pretty a night, with people all asleep. Everyone's dreaming of that candy apple treat, and a palace. But alas! No, it's all a dream. Even eating ice cream, it's all a dream! Why can't I have this? Why can't I have that? BUT NO! It's just hitting you like a bat. YOU JUST HAVE TO HAVE IT, you say to yourself. All for me, all for me, and et cetera. It goes on and on. But why wish for riches? You're already rich enough. If you have a device, then take my advise, if you were poor you would have spent the money on food, like honey, not something that... OF ALL THINGS IS GOOGLE!
Like I said, it's really bad. :(
I have a big bag of Doritos in the kitchen. It's only for people who are skinny, but the fat people can't have any. All they do is suck it up like a lollipop.
Your mama can't walk up the stairs because she eats too much chips.
Why do vampires drink blood?
Because they can't drink Bloody Marys because they are vampires.
Why can’t someone say "ur mums gay" to an orphan? Because he doesn’t have a mum.