Cant jokes
What's the difference between a fish and a guitar?
You can tuna guitar, but you can't tuna fish!
"911, I just crashed my car. I think it's burning. I can't see. It hurts to breathe."
What’s yellow and can’t swim? A school bus.
The most famous line from Shakespeare’s play Julius Caesar is “Et tu, Brute?”
Why can’t he just speak plain English?
I know this is a really bad poem, but I'll do it anyway 'cause I have nothing else to do.
'Twas so pretty a night, with people all asleep. Everyone's dreaming of that candy apple treat, and a palace. But alas! No, it's all a dream. Even eating ice cream, it's all a dream! Why can't I have this? Why can't I have that? BUT NO! It's just hitting you like a bat. YOU JUST HAVE TO HAVE IT, you say to yourself. All for me, all for me, and et cetera. It goes on and on. But why wish for riches? You're already rich enough. If you have a device, then take my advise, if you were poor you would have spent the money on food, like honey, not something that... OF ALL THINGS IS GOOGLE!
Like I said, it's really bad. :(
I have a big bag of Doritos in the kitchen. It's only for people who are skinny, but the fat people can't have any. All they do is suck it up like a lollipop.
Your mama can't walk up the stairs because she eats too much chips.
Why can't orphans be gay?
'Cause they have no one to call "daddy."
To whoever @heil dem anfuhrer is, I hope you know I can’t understand what you’re saying. So next time you get on an American website, please speak English, and I don’t speak whatever European language that is.😊
Why can't orphans play baseball? Because they can't find home.
What's the difference between a human and a tree?
A human can chop down a tree.
A tree can't chop down a human.
Why did Dad say no to the pool? Because he can't swim.
I can’t wait for collage....
5 min later, ight I’m gonna go kill myself.
Why can't orphans suck dick?
Because they don't have a stepbro.
Orphans can't find the home page.
Why does the kid in the wheelchair get bullied all the time?
Because he can’t stand up for himself.
Why do vampires drink blood?
Because they can't drink Bloody Marys because they are vampires.
Why can’t someone say "ur mums gay" to an orphan? Because he doesn’t have a mum.
What's grey and can't fly? A parking lot.
What is big, yellow, and can't swim?
A school bus full of children.