Cant jokes
I can't fake the smile for long, as there is weight hanging at both of its ends called depression.
So, Stephen Hawking walks into a bar. Wait, he can't.
Do you know why there are no pharmacies and pharmacists in Africa?
Because you can't take pills on an empty stomach!
What’s the difference between Stephen Hawking and a walkie-talkie?
He can’t walkie or talkie.
Why does a kid in a wheelchair get bullied? Because he can’t stand up for himself.
What do blind kids and orphans have in common?
Both can't see their parents.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they can't run home.
Why do people in wheelchairs get bullied?
'Cause they can’t stand up for themselves.
Why can't all guys be more like Kenny? He doesn't get all upset when his mom isn't in the mood.
Why do vampires drink blood?
Because they can't drink Bloody Marys because they are vampires.
Why can't orphans have cereal? Because their dad didn't come back with the milk.
Why does Michael Jackson have such a hard time playing chess?
He can't choose between black or white.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
'Cause they don't know where home is.
Why are midgets constantly thirsty?
They can't reach the drinking fountains.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they can't find home.
Why can't two Asians have a white baby? Two wongs don't make a white.
They can't say no if they're unconscious.
My [blank] is long and yellow that can't swim.
A school bus full of children.
I can’t remember if I already said this or not. I might have already said this. Also, this is a true story.
So, I’m walking into a store in Amish country, and there’s this guy with a bear trap. Then my mom’s friend says, "This guy’s gonna catch some bears." Then the Amish guy stops, looks around, and whispers, “It’s for democrats.”
Why can't orphans play baseball? They can't run home.