Candy jokes
What kind of bear has no teeth?
A gummy bear.
Four cows went to the county fair. They saw a sign that said that next year animals can enter a singing contest. They decided that they would enter next year. So they called their group the "4 Cs Quartet" since their names were Clementine, Candy, Cookie, and Columbine.
They discovered how they could win. After a discussion, they decided to eat as much corn as possible, so they would sing in perfect 4 part hominy.
What's meaner than taking candy from a baby?
Throwing the baby off a cliff.
What is a king's favorite sized candy? King-sized candy!
How long was the owl trick or treating?
Owl night long!
Memes
Q: What was Hitler's least favorite candy?
A: Jujubes.
My grandma said, "Hey, you want a Butterfinger cause I do?"
Me: Grandpa's in the kitchen if you want a finger.
Knock knock. Who's there? Oswald. Oswald who? Oswald my Halloween candy and now it's stuck in my throat!
What are emo kids' least favorite lollies?
Life Savers.
What's a rapper's favorite type of CANDY?
Mic Drops.
What has nut, long, big, and sticky? A Snickers bar.
Where's is the candy, sir???
Over there.
(kid steps in van)
I don't see any candy.
I don't got free candy. It costs child support.
Dino nuggets are kinda hot. Also, I want to fuck the brown M&M.
Why are the candy's clothes in the studio?
Because it's a wrapper.
What do you call a happy cowboy? A jolly rancher.
What's a pedo's favorite snack?
Sour Patch Kids.
Yo mama so ugly that on Halloween she didn't get candy.
Why did lil Timmy drop his lollies?
He was hit by a train.
Hiiiiiiiii, I said, Man, want candy? Me, YESSSSSS! Me, gets kidnaped.