Candy jokes
Dad, I'm hungry.
Hi, hungry, I'm Dad! 👋🍪🍩🍬🌮🍔🍗🍟🍤🍉🍭🍫🍰
Once I heard a joke about chocolate. It wasn't that funny, so I just Snickered.
What did the cancer patient get for Valentine's Day? Candy wigs.
A B C D E F G.
Gummy bears are chasing me, one is red, one is blue. One is chewing up my shoe. Now I'm running for my life because the red one's got a knife!
Why is black mystery not an Airheads flavor? Because we already know what happened to them. *shot fires*
Jamal had 75 candy bars. He ate 65. What does he have now?
Diabetes.
Roses are red.
I have free candy. Get in my van. I have free candy!
Where does cotton candy come from? The cotton pickers!
Question: Do you know who Candis is?
Answer: Can dis dick fit in your mouth?
What kind of bear has no teeth?
A gummy bear.
Four cows went to the county fair. They saw a sign that said that next year animals can enter a singing contest. They decided that they would enter next year. So they called their group the "4 Cs Quartet" since their names were Clementine, Candy, Cookie, and Columbine.
They discovered how they could win. After a discussion, they decided to eat as much corn as possible, so they would sing in perfect 4 part hominy.
What's meaner than taking candy from a baby?
Throwing the baby off a cliff.
My grandma said, "Hey, you want a Butterfinger cause I do?"
Me: Grandpa's in the kitchen if you want a finger.
Q: What was Hitler's least favorite candy?
A: Jujubes.
What is a king's favorite sized candy? King-sized candy!
How long was the owl trick or treating?
Owl night long!
What are emo kids' least favorite lollies?
Life Savers.
What's a rapper's favorite type of CANDY?
Mic Drops.
Knock knock. Who's there? Oswald. Oswald who? Oswald my Halloween candy and now it's stuck in my throat!
I don't got free candy. It costs child support.