Candy jokes
Your momma is so fat, she eats insulation and thinks it's cotton candy.
Your hairline looks like something that came off the bottom of a Reese's cup.
What's a pedo's favorite snack?
Sour Patch Kids.
What do you call a happy cowboy? A jolly rancher.
Why are the candy's clothes in the studio?
Because it's a wrapper.
Yo mama so ugly that on Halloween she didn't get candy.
What has nut, long, big, and sticky? A Snickers bar.
I don't got free candy. It costs child support.
Where's is the candy, sir???
Over there.
(kid steps in van)
I don't see any candy.
Dino nuggets are kinda hot. Also, I want to fuck the brown M&M.
Why did lil Timmy drop his lollies?
He was hit by a train.
Your mom's like a candy machine; she pops out for anybody.
Hiiiiiiiii, I said, Man, want candy? Me, YESSSSSS! Me, gets kidnaped.
Boy: "Mister, can I get candy?"
Mister: No, you shit head.
Boy: Why? :(
Mister: Because I'm not your dad.
Your mom is so fat that she thought Eminem is a candy.
Why was the Milky Way remembered...
Because it's... DELICIOUS!
I gave an orphan 5 dollars and I said, "Spend it on a candy bar." I came back 5 minutes later and he didn't have a candy bar. So I look over and I see that he has a piggy bank that has 40 dollars and I said, "Where did you get that?" He said, "For being homeless," and I said, "What are you going to spend it on?" He looked at me and said, "I'm going to pay money for a mother."
Why do elephants paint their toes red, blue, green, orange, brown, and yellow?
So they can hide in a bag of M&Ms.
Me: Hey, I have candy.
Kid: Right next to me, can I have some?
Me: Some of deez nuts.
One day Jack and Jill went up a hill. Jack got Jill drunk and horny, then took her to a hotel because Jack wanted to suck and lick her candy stick.