How old r u....? I don’t give a shit stfu and get in ma van. “ NO NO NO” I’ll give u some candy.” Oh ok🤩” is crummy bears alright??
Earnie and Burt were camping in the woods, when they woke up Burt asked Earnie "how did you sleep?" Earnie replied with "I slept amazing I had a great dream that I was in a magic candy world and was sucking the most tastiest lollipop I'd ever tasted in my life." Burt replied with "good to hear, I slept amazing too, I had a dream that I was in heaven surround by angels, and one of them was giving me a blow job."
So I stayed at home for Halloween when I suddenly hear a knock on my door. I open and I see Penandes! I was confused and asked him why does he not wearing a costume, and he said he doesn't need to. Then I realized that he's a ghost, and gave him 3 candies. Enjoy the candies Pruno!
i gave an orphan 5 dollars and i said "spend it on a candy bar" i came back 5 minutes later and he didn't have a candy bar. so i look over and i see that he has a piggy bank that has 40$ and i said where did you get that? he said for being homeless, and i said what are you going to spend it on he looked at me and said "i'm going to pay money for a mother."
A man with a gun and a sword walks into a bar, sees a girl, and falls in love with her. Man: Hey, you are one beautiful girl. Will You be my girlfriend? Girl: No, because you have a gun and a sword. Man: But I am already in love with you. And then the man leaves to get the girl flowers and candy. The girl is glad that the has gone, until thirty minutes later, when he shows up again. Man: Here are some flowers for you, beautiful girl. And the girl throws the flowers in his face, and then everyone in the bar laughs, even the bartender. Man: And here is some candy. And the girl throws the candy in his face, and everyone in the bar laughs again, and some teenagers walking down the street see it as well, and then they start laughing too. One of the teenagers says "Hahaha, that is so funny. Seeing a man give a girl candy, and the girl throwing it in his face to show him that she hates him." Girl: I hate you, ugly man! Man: Bartender, can I get some candy for my girl? The bartender laughs when he hears that, and then he says "Are you crazy? We don't serve-" And then the man shoots the bartender with his gun, and stabs him with his sword. An old man walking down the street can't believe what he just saw. So he calls the police to arrest the man who killed the bartender. 999 Service Guy: 999, what's your emergency? Old man: I just walked past a bar, and I saw a man shoot and stab the bartender. Can you please get the police to arrest him? Tell them he is the man with a gun and a sword I his bag. 999 Service Guy: Okay, no worries. 1 Hour later, the first man tries to dance the tango with the girl, and the girl kicks him in the leg, and then he tries to kiss her, and she punches him in the face. Guy sitting at a table in the bar: That man is crazy. Trying to kiss a girl who hates him. And the police show up. First Policeman: Which man has a gun and a sword in his bag? The girl points to the man and says "This man." Second Policeman: Let's arrest him. Man: No, wait! I can explain. Third Policeman: Get in the back of the car. When the police get to the Police Station with the man, the first policeman says "You will stay in prison for 10 years." One week later, the man breaks the bars and escapes prison. The police see him and run after him. Third Policeman: Come back here! The man doesn't listen, and he keeps running. So the police shoot him and he dies. And instead of saying rest in peace on his gravestone, it says rest in pieces.
jack took jill up a hill to have a picknic but jack and jill got drunk they then jill unzipped jacks fly then said you know you want me to he said yes so she took off her dress and bra jack took his pants and shirt off to they both went in the well together and playd a game jacks candy stick in jills candy stick next jill was suking jacks candy stick while jack licked and sucked her candy stick then jill sat on jacks candy stick while making out
What type of candy does the most magic?
Twix!
The other day all those toilet papers came by my house and ask do i have any crack candy naw I don't have no damn crack candy or no crack apples all i have here in the backyard is a peanut butter crack sandwich help yourself and while your at it clean up all the damn doggie dodo that's everywhere thank you mr toilet papers.
1 like = 1 more child in my fryer 13 0 1
t thelittletimmy6 days ago 1 like = 1 more child in my blender 82 5 11
a andrewgrayson5 days ago Jack and Jill went up the hill so Jack could lick Jills candy But Jack got a shock and a mouth full of cock because Jills real name is Randy. 27 1 3
M MedievalJoker22 hours ago in America Did you know that Americans fall out of both sides of the bed?!? 4 0 0
h heeeieo3sxedcv bnm10 hours ago When you call the middle eastern suicide hotline they ask you if you can fly a plane. 3 0 2
The Legend1 day ago Do trees shit?
Well, how else would we get #2 pencils? 5 0 0
Staniel13 hours ago A man saw a lady with big breasts. He asked, "Excuse me, can I bite your breasts for $1000?" She agrees, so they go to a secluded corner. She opens her blouse and the man puts his face in her breasts for 10 minutes." Eventually the lady asks, "Aren't you gonna bite them?" He replies, "No, it's too expensive." 3 0 2
Staniel14 hours ago Why did the sperm cross the road ———— because I put on the wrong sock today 3 0 0
TheForeverVirgin5 days ago 1 like=1 more orphan I dropkick 28 2 5
Anonymous1 day ago Why is September 11th the best birthday ever? No one forgets it :) 4 0 0
Anonymous7 hours ago in Orphan what makes an orphan jump? A Bridge 2 0 1
G Goofy ah11 hours ago I. Have no dad no milk and no mom so that means no tits like if u can relate 2 0 1
A Alastor Already From Hell14 hours ago What’s the difference between Hitler and Steven Hawking?
Nothing, their both dead, one painted the walls and the other commuted suicide by pressing ALT + F4 2 0 0
C COLINGAMING2000915 hours ago A funny joke
knock knock "Whose there" who "who who" Ha who who you sound like an owl "fuck you" 3 1 1
Sandwichtheif16 hours ago Why can’t orphans play baseball?
He can’t find home 2 0 0
Cal3y3 days ago 1 like= 1 more child in my basement 9 2 0
Anonymous5 days ago in Orphan What's an orphan's favorite Roblox game? Adopt me. 15 1 1
e easports3 days ago 1 like= 1 kids in the bed with me 8 2 3
Z Za_gotjokesss4 days ago My depressed friend said he wanted to jump off of a bridge but he didn’t wanna commit suicide. I told him if yhu jump and yell parkour, it’ll just be a failed stunt 7 0 0
G Goofy ah2 days ago +1 like=1 kid in my basment +1 comment =1 kid in my microwave +1 share =1 kid in my blender 3 0 14
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I know this is a really bad poem but I'll do it anyway cuz I have nothing else to do.
Twas so pretty a night, with people all asleep. Everyone's dreaming of that candy apple treat, and a palace. But alas! No it's all a dream. Even eating ice cream, it's all a dream! Why can't I have this? Why can't I have that? BUT NO! It's just hitting you like a bat. YOU JUST HAVE TO HAVE IT, you say to yourself. All for me, all for me, and exedra. it goes on and on. But why wish for riches? Your already rich enough? If you have a device, then take my advise, if you were poor you would have spent the money on food, like honey, not something that... OF ALL THINGS IS GOOGLE!
Like I said, it's really bad. :(
