Candy jokes
Where's is the candy, sir???
Over there.
(kid steps in van)
I don't see any candy.
Dino nuggets are kinda hot. Also, I want to fuck the brown M&M.
Yo mama so ugly that on Halloween she didn't get candy.
Why are the candy's clothes in the studio?
Because it's a wrapper.
Your hairline looks like something that came off the bottom of a Reese's cup.
What do you call a happy cowboy? A jolly rancher.
What's a pedo's favorite snack?
Sour Patch Kids.
What has nut, long, big, and sticky? A Snickers bar.
Why did lil Timmy drop his lollies?
He was hit by a train.
Hiiiiiiiii, I said, Man, want candy? Me, YESSSSSS! Me, gets kidnaped.
Your mom's like a candy machine; she pops out for anybody.
Your mom is so fat that she thought Eminem is a candy.
Boy: "Mister, can I get candy?"
Mister: No, you shit head.
Boy: Why? :(
Mister: Because I'm not your dad.
Why was the Milky Way remembered...
Because it's... DELICIOUS!
I gave an orphan 5 dollars and I said, "Spend it on a candy bar." I came back 5 minutes later and he didn't have a candy bar. So I look over and I see that he has a piggy bank that has 40 dollars and I said, "Where did you get that?" He said, "For being homeless," and I said, "What are you going to spend it on?" He looked at me and said, "I'm going to pay money for a mother."
Why do elephants paint their toes red, blue, green, orange, brown, and yellow?
So they can hide in a bag of M&Ms.
Me: Hey, I have candy.
Kid: Right next to me, can I have some?
Me: Some of deez nuts.
One day Jack and Jill went up a hill. Jack got Jill drunk and horny, then took her to a hotel because Jack wanted to suck and lick her candy stick.
Jack took Jill up a hill to have a picnic, but Jack and Jill got drunk. They then Jill unzipped Jack's fly, then said, "You know you want me to."
He said yes, so she took off her dress and bra. Jack took his pants and shirt off too. They both went in the well together and played a game: Jack's candy stick in Jill's candy stick. Next, Jill was sucking Jack's candy stick while Jack licked and sucked her candy stick, then Jill sat on Jack's candy stick while making out.
Ever heard of candies? Candies balls fit in your mouth.