Candy jokes
Q: What's a pedophile's favorite type of candy?
A: Loli-pops.
Well, tell her that Halloween is the best holiday because you can hide Easter eggs under the Christmas tree while eating a big Thanksgiving turkey.
What does the pedophile use for bait? Trix!
I was walking to the store, and then this boy told me, "I'm an orphan and I have no money." He wanted M\&Ms. I gave him a family-sized bag.
What do Emos say when they trick-or-treat?
"Boo-hoo!"
Do you think Mars prefers Sour Orbiters sweet?
Orbiter: "Or bitter?"
What's the sun's favorite chocolate? Mars bar.
What do you call two black lads in gold?
A Twix.
What do you call a toothless bear?
A gummy bear.
A sister told her brother to walk to the store, buy some candy, and watch a movie with her while eating the candy.
But he couldn't walk because he has no legs. He couldn't buy candy because he has no arms. He couldn't watch a movie because he was blind, and he couldn't eat because he has no stomach. Who said he was real?
Pedophile: You dropped your candy.
Girl: Thanks!
Pedophile stares as she slowly bends over to pick up her candy.
Pedophile: It looks a bit dirty, do you wanna come back to my house and get a new one?
Girl: How far is your house?
Pedophile: It's that white one right over there.
Girl: You mean that van next to a dumpster?
Pedophile: Yep, it's that one.
Girl:.... Sure! :P
Audience:.........Dumbass girl.
Why did the blind kid drop his ice cream? He got run over by his mom.
How do pedophiles get kids to suck their d**k?
They spray paint it like candy 🍬.
Dad, I'm hungry.
Hi, hungry, I'm Dad! 👋🍪🍩🍬🌮🍔🍗🍟🍤🍉🍭🍫🍰
Once I heard a joke about chocolate. It wasn't that funny, so I just Snickered.
What did the cancer patient get for Valentine's Day? Candy wigs.
Where does cotton candy come from? The cotton pickers!
Roses are red.
I have free candy. Get in my van. I have free candy!
A B C D E F G.
Gummy bears are chasing me, one is red, one is blue. One is chewing up my shoe. Now I'm running for my life because the red one's got a knife!
Question: Do you know who Candis is?
Answer: Can dis dick fit in your mouth?