Can jokes

Ok, ok, ooh, I'm so lit right now.

Your life is so boring, why you sleepin' on me? I can hear you snorin'. Aye, I'm so lit right now, my diamonds on that lit lit. Why don't you just get up? Aye, yeah, get him 'cause I'm awake, boy. Ooh, I'm so lit right now, your life is so boring, why you sleepin' on me? I can hear you snorin'. Aye, I'm so lit right now, my diamonds on that lit lit. Why don't you just get up? Aye, yeah, get him 'cause I'm awake, boy. Ok, ok, ooh, I'm so lit right now, your life is so boring, why you sleepin' on me? I can hear you snorin'. Aye, I'm so lit right now, my diamonds on that lit lit. Why don't you just get up? Aye, yeah, get him 'cause I'm awake, boy.

My mom: "Dear, I don't know why your grandma is spending more time with her friend Carla, can you spy on her?"

Me: "Your mom gay lol."

My mom: "Don't talk about your grandma like that, you rude girl."

You: "Your mom gay lol."

Your hairline goes so far back you can see a full world scale map in your forehead reflection.

What's something you can say in church and while having sex?

I come in the name of the Lord.

What’s something you can say to a waiter, but not your wife?

"Does this come with anything?"

Did you see the blind guy trip on a can?

He didn't either.

What do you call a 96-year-old who can still masturbate?

Miracle Whip.

What's the difference between Palestine and yo mama?

Yo mama can be found on Google maps.

The best part about Asian jokes is that the only people that can be offended can't see the jokes.

Flex tape can fix a sawed-in-half boat. Then how the f*** can it not fix the Titanic when it broke in half? Tell me!

Let's hope the new tower doesn't go plane watching like the old ones.

North Tower: "Hey, South Tower, we can talk later; I gotta catch a plane!"

Are you Shane Dawson?

Because I can be your pussy.

I have no dad, no milk, and no mom, so that means no tits, like if you can relate.

What do Helen Keller and orphans have in common?

Neither of them can see or hear their parents.

Where do babies get baptized?

So the priest can wash their sex toys.

Why did the dinosaur take a bath?

So it can get ex-stinked!

Q: Why can kids relate to dogs?

A: They are noticed for 13 years, then left for no one to touch again.

So can we agree that Jesus was the first victim of cancel culture?

What kind of birthday cake do you get on September 11th?

Three small ones, so you can have a flight of different cake flavors!

Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a bucket of water.

WHERE DO THEY REALLY GO BECAUSE WATER CAN NOT BE AT THE TOP OF A HILL!?. I honestly think that only people with a physics degree can make nursery rhythms.