Can jokes
I was anonymous with the previous jokes. I will now go by "I can fly! *falls*."
What's black and white and red all over? A mime I hit with my car.
I'm a nonbinary trash can.
Never eat more than you can lift.
If your wife dies of childbirth, can you press charges on the baby?
Bob: Kanye West.
Dad: No, but I can East.
It works, my brother has never slept better
Ok, ok, ooh, I'm so lit right now.
Your life is so boring, why you sleepin' on me? I can hear you snorin'. Aye, I'm so lit right now, my diamonds on that lit lit. Why don't you just get up? Aye, yeah, get him 'cause I'm awake, boy. Ooh, I'm so lit right now, your life is so boring, why you sleepin' on me? I can hear you snorin'. Aye, I'm so lit right now, my diamonds on that lit lit. Why don't you just get up? Aye, yeah, get him 'cause I'm awake, boy. Ok, ok, ooh, I'm so lit right now, your life is so boring, why you sleepin' on me? I can hear you snorin'. Aye, I'm so lit right now, my diamonds on that lit lit. Why don't you just get up? Aye, yeah, get him 'cause I'm awake, boy.
My mom: "Dear, I don't know why your grandma is spending more time with her friend Carla, can you spy on her?"
Me: "Your mom gay lol."
My mom: "Don't talk about your grandma like that, you rude girl."
You: "Your mom gay lol."
Did you know that if you die you can still be a part of family game night!
All you have to do is have your family cremate you and put you in an hour glass, and the games that use hour glasses, well, you will be a part of family game night.
Bob: Can I come to your house to meet your family?
Orphan: I don't have a family.
You can hit an orphan, because who are they gonna tell? Their parents?
Looking for true love. Must be into fun, likes to go out driving, playing the latest catching game and most importantly, must love kids. (PEADOPHILES MUST APPLY WITH HOW MANY KIDS YOU CAN CARRY!)
Can disabled enable dark mode?
Why are Asian's dicks too small?
So they can reset the calculator.
U can vent here idc.
Suicide isn't funny, but you can spice it up by wearing a fun hat.
Why do orphans wish they had a bounty on them so that they can be wanted?
What’s bin Laden got in common with SpongeBob?
Both can be found at the bottom of the sea, and they’re filled with holes.
What has 4 limbs and can make a sidewalk red? Me falling from a 20 story building.
I told some orphan that you can see your family, but I meant Spider-Man: Homecoming...
Q: Why can kids relate to dogs?
A: They are noticed for 13 years, then left for no one to touch again.