Can jokes
We asked our teacher many times for an atlas, and he said, "At last, you can have one!"
Yo momma so short... You can see her feet on her driver's license photo!
Why does Mexico never hold the Olympics? Because everyone that can run, jump, and swim is already out of the country.
Chuck Norris can make a fire with two ice cubes.
I can't handle these puns...
But I can HAND you some puns!
Budum tiss!
What's the difference between a bird and a fly?
A bird can fly, but a fly can't bird!
How can you tell when a cabbage is boiled?
The wheelchair floats to the top.
Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect 4 in only three moves.
Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.
The oldest computer can be traced back to Adam and Eve. It was an apple, but with extremely limited memory. Just 1 byte. And then everything crashed.
I've just started reading my first ever Braille horror story, and I think that something scary is about to happen. I can feel it.
What's the best part of dating a homeless girl?
You can drop her off anywhere.
Chuck Norris once heard nothing can kill him. So he tracked down nothing and killed it.
Can a match box? No, but a tin can.
Can February march? -- No, but April may.
How many animals can jump higher than a skyscraper? -- All of them, skyscrapers can't jump.
Where can you find some of the world's largest vegetables? -- In an American nursing home.
Who can shave 20 times a day and still have a beard? -- A barber.
What kind of dog can do magic tricks?
A labracadabrador.
How can you tell if your wife is dead? -- The sex is the same, but the dishes start piling up.