"Eeee, is a time for a tree night out to a tree. 🌲 I can fly to the earth day to day day one night type and a walk in and a tree."
Can Jokes
What's the difference between a human and a tree?
A human can chop down a tree.
A tree can't chop down a human.
What has 4 wheels and can fly? A garbage truck.
An old woman goes to the doctor complaining of extremely smelly gas.
"I don't understand it, Doc," she said, "I have this terrible, terrible gas." "Thankfully," she added, "they are at least silent when I fart."
Doctor hands her a bottle of pills, tells her take them all and then come back to see him.
The old woman returned a short time later extremely mad. "I took those pills like you said and not only is my gas smelly, but now when I fart they are obnoxiously loud!", she yelled.
The doctor said, "well, now that we've solved your hearing problem, let's see what we can do about that gas".
Yes, you are the one who can get it, and what time do I have?
What is a home that can fly?
A magic house!
What is a car that runs and can't?
What time is it when you cannot walk? Time to get a wheelchair 🦽.
What's the best thing about Alzheimer's? You can hide your own Easter eggs!!
What kind of bagel can fly?
A plain.
Disabled people can help the world to get a printed copy of "Leaning Tower of Pisa," exactly leaned at an angle.
What’s pink, black and has 17 nipples?
A trash can behind the cancer ward.
What time is it when you can smell smoke inside?
Time to get outside!
How many guns can an octopus hold?
9
You can make fun of adopted kids all you want. What are they going to do, tell their parents on you? Lol.
Do you know why I wish grass was emo? So it can cut itself.
What can fly?
Bird.
Iran? More like tin can, cause we’re going to kick their teeth in, am I right?
My cat sleeps about 20 hours a day. She has her food prepared for her. She can eat whenever she wants, 24/7/365. Her meals are provided at no cost to her. She visits the doctor once a year for her checkup, and again during the year if any medical needs arise. For this she pays nothing, and nothing is required of her.
She lives in a nice neighborhood in a house that is much larger than she needs, but she is not required to do any upkeep. If she makes a mess, someone else cleans it up. She has her choice of luxurious places to sleep. She receives these accommodations absolutely free. She is living like a queen, and has absolutely no expenses whatsoever. All of her costs are picked up by others who go out and earn a living every day.
I was just thinking about all this, and suddenly it hit me like a brick in the head, Holy Sh*t, my cat is a Democrat!
What is a plane ✈️ that can not fly?
A fake one ☝️
