Call jokes
What do you call a criminal?
Disarmed and dangerous.
I went home to my girlfriend with milk! She said, "Oh thank you honey!"
Then I got a call from a girl named Melissa. She called and said, "Steven, where the hell have you been? It's been two weeks and you still haven't come back yet?"
How do you really piss off your girlfriend while having sex?
Call her on the phone.
Why can't depressed kids high five a tree? It will leave them hanging.
Why can't orphans play baseball? Because they can't find home!
A serial killer was at my house and killed all my family but me. Why? I was in the living room.
What do sloths and depressed people have in common? They both hang off trees.
What is a group of depressed kids called? The suicide squad.
If sex with three people is called a threesome and sex with four people is called a foursome, I guess now it's clear why everyone calls me handsome.
MOOOMMMM
What do you call an obese man with bipolar? Twins.
What do you call someone who is extra virgin?
Mrs. Frame.
What do you call a pool full of black kids? Baths bomb.
What do you call an atheist bone? -- A blasfemur.
I called a Suicide Helpline, but they didn't help me commit suicide.
Tbh they really left me hanging there.
A Catholic gay male that is well-endowed goes to confession, and while he is inside the confessional booth, the Catholic priest is sucking his dick, and he says to the Catholic priest, "What are you doing, Father?"
And the priest says, "It's called giving a blowjob."
And the Catholic gay male says, "Why are you giving me a blowjob, Father, inside the confessional booth?"
And the Catholic priest says, "If there was no glory hole in the confessional booth, my son, it would not be called a confessional booth in the first place."
What do you call 2 emos making out in a science classroom?
My Chemical Romance.
What was the comment that Vice President Harris said in the United States Senate when a blue dog democrat in the United States Senate called Vice President Harris a bitch?
Kibbles 'N Bits!! Kibbles 'N Bits!! I is going to get me some Kibbles 'N Bits!!
A Story:
I lived in a small house. Behind my house was a big forest. If I went in the forest, then I heard scary sounds. That was very dreadful. I had a son. He was 9 years old. One day he went into the forest and did not come back. I called the police, but it couldn't help. I went looking. I really wanted my son Robby back. I missed him so! With a flashlight and compass, I went into the dark, eerie forest. Then the noises came again, but this time I also heard a scream. A scream from a nine year old child. It was Robby, certainly! I stopped in front of a tunnel.
Sequel follows...
What do you call a room with no doors?
What do you call a booty that can do magic?
A butt trick!
What do you call a burger 🍔 with one eye?
A one giant.
Mom!
What do you call a stripper in a wheelchair?
Hot wheels.
What do you call a fat bitch that eats cum from used condoms? Your mom!