Call jokes
What do you call Tarzan when he swings through the trees backwards?
Nazrat.
Why can’t an orphan be gay?
Because they have no one to call “daddy.”
What does a cannibal call a pregnant woman?
A Kinder Egg surprise!
What do you call a dumb and mean crocodile?
A crookodile.
What do you call a rejected guitarist who now lives on the beach?
A sea minor.
Memes
The translation is correct. Toilet for disabled person shouldn't be called toilet. It should be:
The flower made a phone call and became cauliflower.
Q: Why are the 49ers called the 49ers?
A: 'Cause they can't make it past the 50-yard line.
What do you call an autistic kid with orange hair?
A boomerang.
What do you call 2 nudists in Africa?
Naked and Afraid.
What do you call meat in an oven?
Africa.
Have you heard of the book about the transgender whale?
It’s called "Maybe Dick."
What do you call a disabled gang member? A crip.
What do you call a disabled orphan?
A left over vegetables.
What do you call it when a white person beats a black person?
A KKKO.
They call me Mr. Distracted, truly a spastic. Can't talk to my folks cause they say I'm pro- problematic. Really fantastic. Can't focus unless I take meds then it's magic. My brain is like traffic, always fucking active. But never at the right time, pretty fucking tragic it happens.
A frog goes into a bank and approaches the teller. He can see from her nameplate that the teller's name is Patricia Whack. So he says, "Ms. Whack, I'd like to get a loan to buy a boat and go on a long vacation."
Patti looks at the frog in disbelief and asks how much he wants to borrow.
The frog says $30,000.
The teller asks his name and the frog says that his name is Kermit Jagger, his dad is Mick Jagger, and that it's OK, he knows the bank manager.
Patti explains that $30,000 is a substantial amount of money and that he will need to secure some collateral against the loan. She asks if he has anything he can use as collateral.
The frog says, "Sure. I have this," and produces a tiny pink porcelain elephant, about half an inch tall, bright pink and perfectly formed.
Very confused, Patti explains that she'll have to consult with the manager and disappears into a back office.
She finds the manager and says "There's a frog called Kermit Jagger out there who claims to know you and wants to borrow $30,000. He wants to use this as collateral." She holds up the tiny pink elephant. "I mean, what the heck is this?"
The bank manager looks back at her and says: "It's a knick knack, Patti Whack. Give the frog a loan. His old man's a Rolling Stone."
My family chastises me for MY job, but you should hear how my family provides "customer service" at their jobs. My mother works as a social worker and answers the phone like, "DYFS, you beat em, we treat em." My grandmother is a Medical Examiner and she answers the phone like, "City Morgue, you kill em, we chill em." These bitches have no class! I'm an actress and studio secretary. When you call the studio, I answer the phone professionally like, "Good afternoon. IHOP, International House Of Pussy. Creampie Cassie speaking."
What do you call it when Batman skips church?
Christian Bale.
Funny things or weird things to say to someone.
Hey... have you kissed a girl before? Weird things to say to someone.
It's hard to find friends that [are] 91% funny, 100% nice, and 1000000% good-looking. Funny!
Weird names to call a girl: Sweetums.
Baby-Bugga-Boo.
Fuzzkins.
Lumpy.
Nilly.
Ninty Minty.
and SEXY WITCH NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!! Gross that's why I am not getting a bf!
What do you call someone who used to kill people? An ex-executioner.