How do men like their women? Striped.
How does a priest like their children? Clean.
Why are most orphans strippers? They want to call someone mommy or daddy.
What is the difference between a stripper and candy? None. But they like it when you take the wrapper off.
What do you call a duck on drugs?
A quackhead.
A man gets captured by cannibals.
Every day they poke him with spears and use his blood to wash down their food. Finally the guy calls the chief over and says, "You can kill me or you can eat me, but I'm tired of getting stuck for drinks."
What do you call a baby potato?
Small fry!
What do you call a Black person going down a waterslide? Sewage.
What do you call a bunch of white people in an elevator?
A box of crackers.
A blind teenager who is bad at reading wants to go hunting, so he finds a hunting ground called s-ch-ool.
What do you call a planet that poops? Uranus.
My family chastises me for MY job, but you should hear how my family provides "customer service" at their jobs. My mother works as a social worker and answers the phone like, "DYFS, you beat em, we treat em." My grandmother is a Medical Examiner and she answers the phone like, "City Morgue, you kill em, we chill em." These bitches have no class! I'm an actress and studio secretary. When you call the studio, I answer the phone professionally like, "Good afternoon. IHOP, International House Of Pussy. Creampie Cassie speaking."
If she refuses to suck and threatens to bite, just knock her teeth out. Call it the “Bloody Gummer”.
What do you call a two-dimensional owl? A Paper Towl!
What do you call a bus full of white people?
A TWINKiE!!!
What do you call a flying octopus?
An octocopter! 🚁
Cesar: What was that good salad called?
Servant: Ceaser, Cesar.
Cesar: Okay, what's going to be the weather like?
Servant: Hail, Cesar.
Cesar: Yes, I know "Hail Cesar," but I need to know what the weather's like!
Servant: Well, it's hail, Cesar.
Cesar: AHHHHH! Send him to the DUNGEONS! NOW!
What do you call a load of retards in a swimming pool?
Vegetable soup.
Josh: What’s the useless piece of skin around the vagina called?
Daniel: Isn’t it the women?
Josh: Oh yes, that’s right.
Why do seagulls fly over the sea?
Because if they flew over the bay, they would be called bagels.
What does a cannibal call a pregnant woman? A combo meal.
What do you call a nervous Jedi?
Panakin.
What do you call a male cow who’s taking a nap?
A bull dozer.
