So, I went out to eat the other day, and the waitress came up to me and asked if I wanted a glass of water. I said, "Yes ma'am." She said, "Oh honey, you don't have to call me ma'am, I'm not that old." I said, "Okay, thanks bitch."
What do you call a nun in a wheelchair?
Virgin mobile.
What do you call a group of Emo kids?
Suicide Squad.
What jumps and never let's go?
An Emo kid.
I bet all Emos want to be like their biggest influencers some day.
Dead.
Why do Emos want to be the "Scene" these days?
The only thing I've "Scene" from them is their suicide rate climbing, it's starting to climb quicker than they did to get to the top of whatever they jumped off.
Why can't disabled people make jokes?
Well, it's called Stand-Up comedy, isn't it?
What do you call a pregnant slave? Buy one get one free.
Why is it that when women decide to kill an unborn baby, it's a "CHOICE," but when I decide to drive my F-150 into a playground full of kids, it's called "MURDER"!
I nutted on the wall, call that a walnut.
A teacher gives her kindergarten students four flavors of lifesavers, and they have to guess the flavors. The students guess cherry, lime, and orange. They don't know the last flavor. So, the teacher gives them a hint and says, "It's what your parents call each other." [honey] But a little girl shouts and says, "OMG, they're assholes."
what do you call a suicide bomber that loves water? a bath bomb.
What do you call an Asian who can't hear?
Wha U Sai
"Doctor, there's a patient on line 1 that says he's invisible."
"Well, tell him I can't see him right now."
During a phone call:
"Hey, is Michael Jackson in Miami with his manager?"
"Actually, he's off to Tampa with the kids."
How to tell if you're depressed? You came to a website called "worst jokes ever.com" looking for a quick smile.
What's it called if you give a kid in a wheelchair a ball? Rocket League.
Boy goes to Confession.
Boy: "What are you doing, father?"
Priest: "It's called masturbation and soon you will be doing it."
Boy: "Why do you say that, father?"
Priest: "'Cause my hand is getting tired."
What do you call a dwarf suicide bomber?
A party popper.
I did a bungee jump for charity recently. It was called "spastics on elastics."
What do you call an alligator that can't get hard? A reptile dysfunction.
What is the part of school with all the autistic people called? Downtown.
What do you call a piece of tech that acts emo?
Cutting-edge Technology.
