Call jokes

So, I went out to eat the other day, and the waitress came up to me and asked if I wanted a glass of water. I said, "Yes ma'am." She said, "Oh honey, you don't have to call me ma'am, I'm not that old." I said, "Okay, thanks bitch."

Why can't disabled people make jokes?

Well, it's called Stand-Up comedy, isn't it?

What is the part of school with all the autistic people called? Downtown.

what is it called when an illegal immigrant is getting raped?

alien vs predator

What do you call a group of Emo kids?

Suicide Squad.

What jumps and never let's go?

An Emo kid.

I bet all Emos want to be like their biggest influencers some day.

Dead.

Why do Emos want to be the "Scene" these days?

The only thing I've "Scene" from them is their suicide rate climbing, it's starting to climb quicker than they did to get to the top of whatever they jumped off.

What do you call a nun in a wheelchair?

Virgin mobile.

Why is it that when women decide to kill an unborn baby, it's a "CHOICE," but when I decide to drive my F-150 into a playground full of kids, it's called "MURDER"!

A teacher gives her kindergarten students four flavors of lifesavers, and they have to guess the flavors. The students guess cherry, lime, and orange. They don't know the last flavor. So, the teacher gives them a hint and says, "It's what your parents call each other." [honey] But a little girl shouts and says, "OMG, they're assholes."

I nutted on the wall, call that a walnut.

What do you call an Asian who can't hear?

Wha U Sai

During a phone call:

"Hey, is Michael Jackson in Miami with his manager?"

"Actually, he's off to Tampa with the kids."

what do you call a suicide bomber that loves water? a bath bomb.

"Doctor, there's a patient on line 1 that says he's invisible."

"Well, tell him I can't see him right now."

How to tell if you're depressed? You came to a website called "worst jokes ever.com" looking for a quick smile.

Boy goes to Confession.

Boy: "What are you doing, father?"

Priest: "It's called masturbation and soon you will be doing it."

Boy: "Why do you say that, father?"

Priest: "'Cause my hand is getting tired."

What's it called if you give a kid in a wheelchair a ball? Rocket League.

What do you call a dwarf suicide bomber?

A party popper.

This girl told me people call her ugly because she is disabled. I told her to stand up for herself.

I did a bungee jump for charity recently. It was called "spastics on elastics."

What do you call an alligator that can't get hard? A reptile dysfunction.