Call jokes

What do you call a sleepwalking nun?

A roamin' Catholic.

What do you call a high school student?

Alone and depressed.

What do you call a dead parrot?

Polygon.

What do you call those dead pieces of green stuff left in the bottom of a bowl of Caesar salad?

The last romaines. Now lettuce pray for them.

What do you call someone who points out the obvious? Someone who points out the obvious.

What do you call a redneck sister who runs faster than her brothers?

A virgin.

"Son, I found a condom in your room."

"Gee, thanks, Grandpa!"

"Why are you calling me Grandpa?"

"Because I couldn't find it yesterday."

What do you call two Mexicans in a sleeping bag?

A Twix.

"What do you call a deer with no eyes?" -- "No-eye-deer."

What do you call a cow with no toes?

Lac-toes intolerant.

What do you call a cross between a gorilla and a monkey? -- A cross.

My friend surprised me for my birthday with a book called ‘Road-Kill Recipes’. I did find some roadkill the other day, so I cooked it according to one recipe and it was delicious. I’m just not sure what I should do with the bicycle.

Friend #1: "Yo guys, what's the most unfair game you've ever played? For me it's Fortnite."

Friend #2: "I'd have to say Monopoly."

Me: "The most unfair game you say? Life, definitely. Like, no one wins, it's a one-way game."

Friend #2: "Uhh...that's not exactly what he meant..."

Friend #1: *calls the suicide hotline*

What do you call an egg murder?

An eggs-terminator!

What do you call a happy child swinging with her friends at recess?

Not Sally.

What do you call an orphan?

A bootysnagger45.

Every time someone calls you a little different, car? Just say, "No, I'm not."

What do you call a fat spеaky in a wheelchair spеaky chair?

What do you call a person with a fat brain?

A fat neek!

What do you call a school bus driver that keeps going to sleep? A monster.