What do you call a fish with no eye? A ffsshh
what do you call a lazy gay? someone who comes straight out of the closet,and goes straight to the couch.
How did helen keller burn the side of her head? she answered the iron How’d she burn the other side? They called back
My grandfather says I’m too reliant on technology. I called him a hypocrite and unplugged his life support.
What do you call a kid who’s been kidnapped?
Well, her name’s Sally, so I guess… Sally. My main concern is getting her out of the freezer.
An artist is commissioned to create a painting celebrating Soviet-Polish friendship, to be called “Lenin in Poland.” When the painting is unveiled at the Kremlin, there is a gasp from the invited guests. The painting depicts Lenin’s wife naked in bed with Leon Trotsky.
“But this is a travesty! Where is Lenin?” Asks one of the guests.
“Lenin is in Poland,” replies the painter.
when the teacher calls on you and asks you how many people did Hitler kill.
“One, he killed himself”
My girlfriend lives a few miles away from me. The other night, she called me at around 3 AM. She was terrified. She said that there were two armed gunmen in her apartment. With all that adrenaline going through my system, it made it hard to go back to sleep.