What do you call two monkeys who share the same Amazon account? Prime mates.
Call Jokes
Imagine getting a call and it says, "Welcome to David's orphanage. You make them, we take them. How may we help you?"
Why can't orphans work at McDonald's? Because they call their employees family.
What do you call a house with dog hair?
A shed.
What do you call it when a man is scared in Panera Bread?
Panera dread.
What do cannibals call newborn babies?
Fresh fruit.
What did the short Chinese man say when he was called a dwarf? "Da fok yu sai tu meee."
What do you call an apple that fell out of the tree?
An orphan.
What do you call a kid in a wheelchair coming out of a building on fire? Hot wheels.
What is a cup called when they show a ton of emotions?
Answer: Expresso! (KILL MEH)
What do you call two female lovers spying on the government?
Lesbionage.
They made a horror movie about the Chinese president.
It's called "Winnie the Pooh: Blood and Honey."
What do you call a homeless Hitler?
A roofless dictator.
Q: What do you call a black prostitute in space?
A: The Blackhole.
What do you call an Asian Chihuahua?
A Konichiuahua.
What do you call a smart blonde?
Nonexistent.
Why is he called Ben 10? Because he is ten in long.
What do you call a spice with a PHD?
Dr. Pepper
What do you call a person who's got their wisdom tooth removed too late?
Dumb.
Last Halloween, I went dressed as a woman. When I rang the doorbell, an elderly woman opened it, and I made a grunting noise and knocked the bowl of candy out of her hands.
She immediately called the police and told them exactly what happened. The officer pulled me aside and asked me a few questions. First, he asked if my parents were here, and I said nothing. Concerned by my answer, he then asked if I was okay, so I said nothing. He asked me what my name was, and I responded, "Hellen Keller."
