Call jokes

What do you call dynamite on steroids? - High Explosive.

What do you call emos that live in the Bahamas?

Tropical depressions.

What do you call a born-again heteroflexible male that is a Christian nationalist who thinks he is bisexual when the LGBT community knows that he is bicurious and that he is on steroids and that the LGBT community knows that he is not telling the truth about that? He is a gay man that is in the closet. He should be forced out of the closet by gay men in the LGBT community by any means necessary if gay men in the LGBT community still want to defend the wall of separation of church and state by any means necessary.

What do you call it when Hitler puts retards in the oven? Baked potatoes.

What's the difference between calling someone dad or daddy? How you come from his balls.

A little girl being Girl: "Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned."

Priest: "What did you do, child?"

Girl: "I called a man a son of a bitch."

Priest: "Why did you call him a son of a bitch?"

Girl: "Because he touched my hand."

Priest: "Like this?" (as he touches her hand)

Girl: "Yes, Father."

Priest: "That's no reason to call a man a son of a bitch."

Girl: "Then he touched my breast."

Priest: "Like this?" (as he touched her breast)

Girl: "Yes, Father."

Priest: "That's no reason to call him a son of a bitch."

Girl: "Then he took off my clothes, Father."

Priest: "Like this?" (as he takes off her clothes)

Girl: "Yes, Father."

Priest: "That's no reason to call him a son of a bitch."

Girl: "Then he stuck his you know what into my you know where."

Priest: "Like this?" (as he stuck his you know what into her you know where)

Girl: "YES FATHER, YES FATHER, YES FATHER!!!"

Priest: (after a few minutes): "That's no reason to call him a son of a bitch."

Girl: "But, Father, he had AIDS!"

Priest: "THAT SON OF A BITCH!!!"

Q. What do you call a gun that rapes someone?

A. An assault rifle.

When the teacher calls on you and asks you how many people did Hitler kill?

"One, he killed himself."

What do you call a cow that was hit by an anvil? A flat iron steak.

These three men wanted to start a band. One had the idea to call them the Rolling Stones, one wanted to call them the Veggies, the other said, "Let's be the Cripples," as they all rolled away.

Suicide is the way to get even with the bitch called probability.

What do you call a whore with a runny nose?

...Full!

What do you call a depressed a cappella group?

Self-Harmony.

What do you call children born from incest?

Gross Domestic Product.

Jon said: What do you call a pregnant woman?

Mike said: I don’t know, what?

Jon said: Kinder surprise.

What do you call a woman with one arm and one leg?

Eileen.

My girlfriend lives a few miles away from me.

The other night, she called me at around 3 AM. She was terrified. She said that there were two armed gunmen in her apartment.

With all that adrenaline going through my system, it made it hard to go back to sleep.

When Stephen Hawking was feeling hungry, he used to call in to his local PC World for a megabyte and some microchips.

What do you call a dead pine tree? A Nevergreen!

What do you call a vegetable who has escaped prison?

An escapea.