Call jokes
What do you call a kid with no friends?
A Sandy Hook survivor.
What do you call a Trump Supporter?
A piece of $hit!
What do you call Mexicans in a band trying to be a white band?
"Juan Direction."
A little girl being Girl: "Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned."
Priest: "What did you do, child?"
Girl: "I called a man a son of a bitch."
Priest: "Why did you call him a son of a bitch?"
Girl: "Because he touched my hand."
Priest: "Like this?" (as he touches her hand)
Girl: "Yes, Father."
Priest: "That's no reason to call a man a son of a bitch."
Girl: "Then he touched my breast."
Priest: "Like this?" (as he touched her breast)
Girl: "Yes, Father."
Priest: "That's no reason to call him a son of a bitch."
Girl: "Then he took off my clothes, Father."
Priest: "Like this?" (as he takes off her clothes)
Girl: "Yes, Father."
Priest: "That's no reason to call him a son of a bitch."
Girl: "Then he stuck his you know what into my you know where."
Priest: "Like this?" (as he stuck his you know what into her you know where)
Girl: "YES FATHER, YES FATHER, YES FATHER!!!"
Priest: (after a few minutes): "That's no reason to call him a son of a bitch."
Girl: "But, Father, he had AIDS!"
Priest: "THAT SON OF A BITCH!!!"
What do you call dynamite on steroids? - High Explosive.
Why do some men call their testicles "bells"? Because it's next to their "ding-dong."
What do you call a Muslim sleepover?
Osamas in Pajamas.
What do you call emos that live in the Bahamas?
Tropical depressions.
Q. What do you call a gun that rapes someone?
A. An assault rifle.
What's the difference between calling someone dad or daddy? How you come from his balls.
My girlfriend lives a few miles away from me.
The other night, she called me at around 3 AM. She was terrified. She said that there were two armed gunmen in her apartment.
With all that adrenaline going through my system, it made it hard to go back to sleep.
When the teacher calls on you and asks you how many people did Hitler kill?
"One, he killed himself."
What do you call a cow that was hit by an anvil? A flat iron steak.
What do you call a bunch of Paki's jumping off a cliff?
Chocolate drops.
What do you call a whore with a runny nose?
...Full!
These three men wanted to start a band. One had the idea to call them the Rolling Stones, one wanted to call them the Veggies, the other said, "Let's be the Cripples," as they all rolled away.
If a heterosexual man gets anonymous oral sex from another heterosexual man at a glory hole, it's called a "brojob", but if a homophobic heterosexual man gets anonymous oral sex from a gay man at a glory hole, it's still called a "brojob". Does it cycle now?
What do you call a man who plays Fortnite 24/7?
A: A virgin.
What do you call a vegetable who has escaped prison?
An escapea.
What do you call a woman with one arm and one leg?
Eileen.