Call jokes
What do you call it when Hitler puts retards in the oven? Baked potatoes.
What's the difference between calling someone dad or daddy? How you come from his balls.
A little girl being Girl: "Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned."
Priest: "What did you do, child?"
Girl: "I called a man a son of a bitch."
Priest: "Why did you call him a son of a bitch?"
Girl: "Because he touched my hand."
Priest: "Like this?" (as he touches her hand)
Girl: "Yes, Father."
Priest: "That's no reason to call a man a son of a bitch."
Girl: "Then he touched my breast."
Priest: "Like this?" (as he touched her breast)
Girl: "Yes, Father."
Priest: "That's no reason to call him a son of a bitch."
Girl: "Then he took off my clothes, Father."
Priest: "Like this?" (as he takes off her clothes)
Girl: "Yes, Father."
Priest: "That's no reason to call him a son of a bitch."
Girl: "Then he stuck his you know what into my you know where."
Priest: "Like this?" (as he stuck his you know what into her you know where)
Girl: "YES FATHER, YES FATHER, YES FATHER!!!"
Priest: (after a few minutes): "That's no reason to call him a son of a bitch."
Girl: "But, Father, he had AIDS!"
Priest: "THAT SON OF A BITCH!!!"
Q. What do you call a gun that rapes someone?
A. An assault rifle.
When the teacher calls on you and asks you how many people did Hitler kill?
"One, he killed himself."
Memes
What do you call a cow that was hit by an anvil? A flat iron steak.
These three men wanted to start a band. One had the idea to call them the Rolling Stones, one wanted to call them the Veggies, the other said, "Let's be the Cripples," as they all rolled away.
What do you call a whore with a runny nose?
...Full!
What do you call a depressed a cappella group?
Self-Harmony.
Did you hear about the exciting new drug they developed for lesbians with depression? They call it: TRICOXAGIN.
What do you call a vegetable who has escaped prison?
An escapea.
What do you call a woman with one arm and one leg?
Eileen.
My girlfriend lives a few miles away from me.
The other night, she called me at around 3 AM. She was terrified. She said that there were two armed gunmen in her apartment.
With all that adrenaline going through my system, it made it hard to go back to sleep.
When Stephen Hawking was feeling hungry, he used to call in to his local PC World for a megabyte and some microchips.
What do you call a dead pine tree? A Nevergreen!
What do you call someone with a pindie spot?
Stop screen recording.
What do you call the place where an octopus is sitting?
Octopied.
Why do orphans love having sex?
Because they can finally call somebody "daddy."
What do you call your brother in Alabama? Daddy.
What do you call Mexicans in a band trying to be a white band?
"Juan Direction."