Call jokes
Why do orphans love having sex?
Because they can finally call somebody "daddy."
What do you call your brother in Alabama? Daddy.
What do you call Mexicans in a band trying to be a white band?
"Juan Direction."
I called the Chinese takeaway yesterday. A man picked up the phone and said: "Hello! I am Wan Kin, the chef." I said that I'll come back later.
God: Ok, so I created adults. And I created how they are supposed to look from being born to preteen.
Satan: (slides in) I’ll take over for you, pops.
God: I dunno... this is very delicate work. Just one wrong thing can ruin the system.
Satan: Don’t worry your beard off! (Pats his back) I’ll just do the ages from 12 to 18!
God: Hmm... I’m still not- (Gets a call on his phone) Shoot, I got to take this. (Answers call) Don’t touch anything, Lucifer! (Walks away)
Satan:.......(just touches lightly, and alarms start blaring. He squeaks and runs away)
God: (rushes in) WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO?!?!
God: (tries fixing problems. Only gets alarms off) Fuck me........
God:....(sighs) Fine, it’ll stay. We’ll just call it....puberty.
Memes
What do you call a man who plays Fortnite 24/7?
A: A virgin.
What do you call a cow that's beating his meat? Beef stroganoff!
What do you call a Chinese man in the heat?
Boi Ling.
Q: What do you call it when four Mexicans drown in quicksand?
A: Cuatro Cinco.
Me: Calls 9-1-1.
Operator: 9/11, what’s your emergency?
Me: *hangs up*
What do you call a fish with no eye?
Fsh.
Remember kids if ur ever mad beat up an orphan what are they gonna do call their mom??
Why can't a blonde call 911?
She can't find the 11.
What do you call terrible milk?
Udder Bullshit.
What do you call a roach in milk?
A roach con leche. 😂
What do you call a gay threesome?
A Sloppy Joe.
So, this guy and his wife figure out that she has gotten pregnant. The baby is due March 31st. Well, the guy is at work and he gets a call from his wife. She tells him she is going into labor. He rushes to pick her up, and once he is on the road, he starts speeding. Eventually, he hits another car and swerves off the road into a ditch. He wakes up in the hospital, looks around but doesn’t see his wife. He asks the doctor, "Is my wife okay? She was carrying my child." The doctor said the wife is fine and the baby is in good health. 10 seconds later he goes, "APRIL FOOLS! Your wife is dead and your child has brain damage."
What do you call Stephen Hawking on Mars? Mars Rover.
What do you call an idiotic cow?
A mis-steak!
What do you call a Mexican that hung him self? a pinata