Call jokes
What do you call a dead pine tree? A Nevergreen!
What do you call a vegetable who has escaped prison?
An escapea.
What do you call the place where an octopus is sitting?
Octopied.
Why do orphans love having sex?
Because they can finally call somebody "daddy."
What do you call your brother in Alabama? Daddy.
Memes
I was reading this in class and laughed at loud, i had to clear all my history of jokes
What do you call Mexicans in a band trying to be a white band?
"Juan Direction."
I called the Chinese takeaway yesterday. A man picked up the phone and said: "Hello! I am Wan Kin, the chef." I said that I'll come back later.
God: Ok, so I created adults. And I created how they are supposed to look from being born to preteen.
Satan: (slides in) I’ll take over for you, pops.
God: I dunno... this is very delicate work. Just one wrong thing can ruin the system.
Satan: Don’t worry your beard off! (Pats his back) I’ll just do the ages from 12 to 18!
God: Hmm... I’m still not- (Gets a call on his phone) Shoot, I got to take this. (Answers call) Don’t touch anything, Lucifer! (Walks away)
Satan:.......(just touches lightly, and alarms start blaring. He squeaks and runs away)
God: (rushes in) WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO?!?!
God: (tries fixing problems. Only gets alarms off) Fuck me........
God:....(sighs) Fine, it’ll stay. We’ll just call it....puberty.
What do you call a man who plays Fortnite 24/7?
A: A virgin.
I hit a ball with a bat, it was called animal abuse.
My sister asked me what is dark humor. I asked what does a cannibal call a pregnant woman? "Kinder Surprise!"
What do you call a cow that's beating his meat? Beef stroganoff!
Q: What do you call it when four Mexicans drown in quicksand?
A: Cuatro Cinco.
Me: Calls 9-1-1.
Operator: 9/11, what’s your emergency?
Me: *hangs up*
What do you call a Chinese man in the heat?
Boi Ling.
What do you call a fish with no eye?
Fsh.
This homeless lady called me ugly, so I told her, "Okay, then I'm going home."
Why can't a blonde call 911?
She can't find the 11.
Remember kids if ur ever mad beat up an orphan what are they gonna do call their mom??
What do you call terrible milk?
Udder Bullshit.