I'm making a new movie, it's called "Veggie Tales." My star actor is Stephen Hawking.
Call Jokes
What do you call a fish that can use a katana?
A salmon-rai.
What do cells call their friends with? A cell phone.
Why do orphans have phones?
Because they don't know how to call home.
What do you call a drivable Hamburger?
What?
A Hamborgini.
What is a wasp called?
A wannabe.
What do you call a giraffe without a bowtie? Neck-ed.
What do you call a rapper who's also a GARDENER?
Snoop Soddy Sod.
What do you call a rapper who LOVES math?
2Pac-square
What do you call your retard friend?
A homie with an extra cromie.
Question; Why do they call Melania Trump the "Walk-In" Freezer?
Answer; Because it's where everyone goes to "Hang Their Meat"!
What do you call a Mexican with an m3?
A greaser.
Hey, let’s go, we are heading for the Towers!
Wait, what?
Call 911!
This is how animals were named.
"Bye Son." *cuts call*. What are we talking about?
"Bison. Perfect."
Q. What do you call a biracial kid in a vegetative state?
A. A mixed vegetable.
Q. What do you call a rich person who is in a vegetative state?
A. A loaded potato.
I was lying on the living room carpet the other day with my girlfriend on top of me in wings and a tutu, making out.
I called her the Fallen Angel.
What do you call a Titan who can't swim?
Titanic!
Imagine the Titanic with a lisp. It would be unthinkable. My version is imagine the Titanic with a lisp, it would be unsinkable.
What did the front half of the Titanic say to the other half when it hit the iceberg? I'm breaking up with you.
Hey, do you like nuts? Try our new product, deez nuts! *slam dunk* It's a bag filled with all of your favorite nuts! We called it deez nuts! *slam dunk* We got cashues peanuts wallnuts!
And it's called deez nuts! *slam dunk* Try out deez nuts *slam dunk* now! It's a bag, filled with your favorite nuts! Deez nuts! *slam dunk*
Why do we call them dead bodies? Nobody says "alive bodies!" Like you walk into your workplace, "OMFG IT'S FULL OF BODIES! Alive ones, though." You wouldn't give birth and say, "Come on, husband, help me with the bodies." If it's a surprise party, you wouldn't say, "QUICK, HIDE THE BODIES!" And the person who the party was for wouldn't say "OH MY GOD WHY ARE THEY DEAD!"
