Call jokes
An old professor’s class used to begin with a dirty joke.
Following one particularly vulgar joke, the girls in the class decided to walk out the next time he began.
When the professor learned of this planned protest, he came in the next morning and said, “Good morning, class. Did you hear about the scarcity of whores in Newfoundland?”
With that, all the women stood up and headed for the door.
“Wait, ladies,” called the professor, “The boat doesn’t leave until tomorrow!”
I live in China and we have no food. We have to eat Chinese food, so I called my dog over.
Salman Rushdie got a new book out.
It's called "Buddha. You Fat Cunt."
What do you call a baby kangaroo? Joey.
What do you call a 6 year old named Joey? Supper.
It isn't a real charity until India opens call centers, like they did with Africa.
Memes
What do you call it when a lizard can’t get a boner?
Ereptile Dysfunction!
What do you call a Mexican midget?
A paragraph, because he's not a full essay.
What do you call a group of black people?
A hoodie.
What was Morgan Freeman called before the Civil War?
Morgan.
What do you call a goat?
A goat.
What do you call it when you get away with masturbating in the shower?
You got off clean.
What do you call Stephen Hawking on his period?
Mario Kart.
Papyrus: You are so lazy, Sans!
Sans: Call me what you want. I got THICK SKIN!
Papyrus: Another bad joke and I'm finished with him!!
Frisk: HAHAHA
Papyrus: We are monsters. The awfulest kind!
Sans: To mess with us takes a lot of SPINE!!!
What do you call a bunch of Aboriginals rolling down a hill?
Abo-lanche.
What do you call an orphan family photo?
A selfi.
What do you call a girl skeleton dancing?
A bone-étit.
My impression of Michael Jackson's butler:
When answering the phone: "No, sorry, he's dead." *hangs up phone*
What do you call Miles Morales Spider-Man from Europe?
Kilometers Morales.
Moxxie: ThEy CaLlEd Me A pOsSuM!! i'M nOt A pOsSuM!!
Orphans want girlfriends to call someone "Mommy."