Call jokes

Why is it called scissoring and not lip-syncing?

What do you call someone with no arms and no legs?

A nugget.

Q. What do you call a prostitute who asks too many questions?

A. An intrusive thot.

What do you call 8 x 3.14?

Octopi.

What do you call an Asian chick with dick in her ass, pushy and mouth?

Filipino.

So I was asleep and woke up and went to work. My wife left already to her job. I was driving my car and ran over someone. I woke up in my bed, realized it was all a dream.

20 minutes later I got a phone call that my wife got hit by a car.

What did the Teacher say to the orphan?

"I am calling your parents!"

I'm 43 and my date is 19. A man rudely comes up to our table and calls me a pedophile. I told him to fuck off, this is our 10th anniversary.

What do you call German weed?

Mustard Gas.

What do you call a llama that was in 9/11? Osama Bin Llama.

What do you call the closest plant to the sun? The hot ball.

What do you call an orphan who became a priest?

Father-less.

I went home to my girlfriend with milk! She said, "Oh thank you honey!"

Then I got a call from a girl named Melissa. She called and said, "Steven, where the hell have you been? It's been two weeks and you still haven't come back yet?"

There was a kid being mean to another kid at an orphanage. The kid said, "Stop!" but the mean one said, "What are you going to do? Call your mommy?"

This guy called anonymous said he's going to own me like he did my mum. Joke's on him, I have two dads.

What do you call a committee of emo kids?

A cutting board!

My father touched me yesterday. I called him a priest.

I didn't mean to call an Afghanistan hotline. I told them I was depressed, then they asked if I know how to drive a truck. I don't know how that has anything to do with it!

What do you call a bunch of bald paki in a swimming pool? Coco pops.

What do you call an ex-lesbian?

A clitter quitter.