Call jokes
What do you call it if your mom is a guy and your dad is a woman?
Transparent.
Q: What do you call a guy with no arms or legs in front of a door?
A: Mat.
What do you call a magician with no magic? A dyslexic c**t.
Michael Jackson was working on a cover of a popular Elton John song when he died...
His version was to be called "Don't Let Your Son Go Down on Me"...
What do you call a person with one arm, one leg, one eye, and one ear?
ONESY.
“Hey dad, how do you kill a star?” - Give them drugs.
What do you call a smurf with no arms or legs?
A paintball.
What do you call an Italian dog?
A labra-noodle.
What do you call a dog that fell into the Porta-Potty?
A Corgi Potty.
What do you call a woman with three boobs? Tres leches.
An artist is commissioned to create a painting celebrating Soviet-Polish friendship, to be called "Lenin in Poland." When the painting is unveiled at the Kremlin, there is a gasp from the invited guests.
The painting depicts Lenin's wife naked in bed with Leon Trotsky.
"But this is a travesty! Where is Lenin?" asks one of the guests.
"Lenin is in Poland," replies the painter.
What do you call a lesbian? Me.
What do you call a fat fortune teller? A four-chin teller.
Three people died and went to Hell. One of them is from America, the second guy is from Germany, and the third guy is from Afghanistan. The devil lets each person make a phone call to their loved ones in the country they came from, but they will be charged. The American spends 10 minutes on the phone and is charged $20. The German spends 12 minutes on the phone and is charged $24. The man from Afghanistan spends half an hour on the phone and is charged nothing. The other two guys asked the devil why. The devil responded: "Local calls are free."
What do you call a homeless bounty hunter?
Hobo Fett!
What do you call a duck that is addicted to drugs?
A quack head!
My mom must be a duck then...
What do you call a man with no body and no nose?
Nobody knows.
Pep called; they want their unpadded bra back.
What do we call a Canadian gay, disciplined cunt?
Dr. Brody: Sir, your son has a disease called boofa.
Dad: What's boofa?
Dr. Brody: Both of these nuts in your mouth.
Q: What do you call a tsunami?
A: Your mom's water breaking.