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Call jokes

Why is an orphan into worshiping Satan?

'Cause they get to call someone "master" and be freaky.

The mailman came to drop the mail off.

Me (son): I went and told my mommy that daddy is home.

Mommy tells me, "You got no daddy."

Then I say, "I hear you always call the mailman daddy."

This dad went out hunting, he killed a deer. He came home and he and his wife decided to have it for dinner but not tell their kids. Instead, they made them guess. The dad said, "It's something that daddy calls mommy." The little girl yells to her brother, "Don't eat it! It's an ass!"

Why is he called Stephen Hawking?

Because he is always trying to hawk up phlegm to clear his throat.

What’s the difference between a dog and parents?

If an orphan calls their name, only the dog comes back.

My cousin called me ugly.

Well, I'm pretty sure 90% of her looks could be wiped away with a Kleenex.