What do you call an Italian with a rubber toe?
Roberto.
Call Jokes
If you think the guy calling you fat is offensive,
Try salad 🥗.
What do you call a fake speedrunner?
Dream.
What do you call a Barbie doll that’s wearing scrubs?
A plastic surgeon. 😷
What do you call a pickle sandwich?
A Big Mac!
What do gay people call fighting? It can't be beef, so...
Carrots?
What do you call an idiot who needs to get a life?
The Stigg.
Did you know that chips taste like the baked potato in things called bags of chips?
What do you call a dead woman in the back of your car?
Idk, I just have a couple in the backseat.
What do you call a swimming terrorist?
A bath bomb.
What do you call a black person in a swimming pool?
Coco Pops.
I have an exam next week, so I called my ex and asked if she had any cheating tips.
I hit a ball with a bat, it was called animal abuse.
ROBERT LEWANDISNEY SONG
Give me freedom. Give me fire. Give me contract, Or I retire.
Jog all day, Out of UCL now. FC Barcelona, I need you now.
Villarreal defenders, They surround me. Big submarines, All around me.
I get upset. Call my agent. I want money. I’m impatient.
My cousin: Brother, I lost in a game of Call of Duty: Moe Bill [he was supposed to pronounce it as mobile; however, I left it as it is].
Me: So tell me about it then.
My cousin: I lost to Sum_Baldi.
Me: Somebody? Don’t they have, like, the name of you opponents?
My cousin: No, no, no, the name was Sum_Baldi. S.U.M_B.A.L.D.I.
Me: Ok, my bad. Continue.
My cousin: I got Sum_Baldi, and 5 seconds later, I got kill[ed] by Sum_Fing_Wong.
Me: It’s not wrong! In Call of Duty, you are suppose to kill or be killed.
My cousin: No, no, no, the name was Sum_Fing_Wong. S.U.M_F.I.N.G_W.O.N.G.
Me: My bad again. Do continue.
My cousin: I got so angry I blow[ed] up.
Me: So you got blowed up, by what weapon?
My cousin: By the game.
Me: [was not expecting that for an answer]
What do you call an autistic kid with a gun?
Special forces.
"Boiled ham" is what you call a dead Russian.
Teacher: What do you kids want to be when you grow up?
Kid 1: I want to be a firefighter.
Kid 2: I want to be a police officer.
Kid 3: I want to be dead like both my parents.
Teacher: Ok, everyone pull out your books.
Kid 4: Are we going to ignore what he said?
Teacher: What do you want me to do? Call his parents?
What do you call a bottle of water flying over Africa?
A UFO.
If you call the number 800-273-8500 in Afghanistan, they say, "Can you fly a plane?"
