Call jokes
One day, Billy's teacher asked him, "I heard your mom had a baby. What did she have?"
Billy paused and thought for a moment and said, "I think she had a bicycle."
"Now Billy, you know that your mom didn't have a bicycle. What did she have?"
"Maybe it was a tricycle."
"Billy, don't stand there and lie to me. We're going to the principal's office right now!"
The teacher grabbed Billy and escorted him to the principal's office and explained what happened. The principal looked sternly at Billy and said, "Stop lying, Billy. You know your mom didn't have a bicycle or a tricycle. What did your mother have?"
Billy looked up, fear in his eyes and said, "Well, maybe she had a go-cart."
That was more than enough. "I'm calling your mother right now!"
Soon, Billy's mother arrived at the principal's office. "It seems that Billy has decided to start telling lies. His teacher asked him what you recently had, and he said a bicycle, then a tricycle, then a go-cart!"
Billy's mother teared up, and through her sobs, replied to the principal and teacher, "No. Sadly, I had a miscarriage."
Billy sat up straight and said, "I KNEW that damn thing had wheels!"
What do you call a large lamp that does illicit things to young children?
A Jacko Lantern!
When you cream pie a tardy hottie, it’s called a loaded potato. 🥴🦴💨🥔
What did the police say on the TV during 9/11?
"Call 911!"
What do you call a suicide bomber in a wheelchair?
An RCXD (remote control explosive).
What do you call an anorexic with a yeast infection? A quarter pounder with cheese.
You call it Hell. I call it Saunaworld DX.
I called the suicide hotline in Afghanistan, and they asked if I could pilot a plane.
I got in trouble in school today. The teacher said, "I'm gonna call your parents!"
I said, "Let me know when you find them." <3
What do you call an emo that cuts too deep? Gushers.
What do you call something that has 50 legs but can't walk? 25 disabled people!
When Chuck Norris calls 1-900 and 976 numbers, he doesn't get charged. He holds up the phone, and money falls out.
Q: What do you call a blonde with only two brain cells?
A: Pregnant.
What is a leaf mixed with mud called? Ligma.
Ligma balls!
What do you call a dude that is always high and gets higher than everyone else in the family? The alpha pothead!
What do you call the longest reigning monarch?
The queen? No, she dead.
What do you call emos that live in the Bahamas?
Tropical depressions.
What do you call an orphan's family tree?
A stump.
What would Hitler be called if he abused women? Hither!
Suicide isn't a joke. It's called "parkour gone wrong."