Call jokes
What do you call an autistic kid if he was short?
A short tistic.
What do you call an ex-lesbian?
A clitter quitter.
What do you call a kid with 15 nukes and a shotgun?
The final countdown.
Okay, what do you call a dummy that writes a dumb writer?
What do you call a stupid pig? A pious.
People were scared of the alligator because it ate everyone, so they called for the water god Aquarius.
He said "Sea ya later, alligator!" and he drowned.
What do you call a movie about an orphan?
The Bat Man.
What do you call Scooby Doo with a blunt in his mouth? Scooby Dooby.
What do you call a questioning Constanta?
Curious George.
What do you call a YouTuber? A virgin.
Why can't orphans work at McDonald's? Because they call their employees family.
What do you call a group of emos?
The Suasied Squid.
What do you call a house that isn't a house?
Not a house.
Why is an orphan into worshiping Satan?
'Cause they get to call someone "master" and be freaky.
What do you call a group of kangaroos? Gangaroos.
The mailman came to drop the mail off.
Me (son): I went and told my mommy that daddy is home.
Mommy tells me, "You got no daddy."
Then I say, "I hear you always call the mailman daddy."
This dad went out hunting, he killed a deer. He came home and he and his wife decided to have it for dinner but not tell their kids. Instead, they made them guess. The dad said, "It's something that daddy calls mommy." The little girl yells to her brother, "Don't eat it! It's an ass!"
I'm writing a movie about 9/11. It's called "September 11th Two Thousand Fun."
Why is he called Stephen Hawking?
Because he is always trying to hawk up phlegm to clear his throat.
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Grounded beef.