But jokes

What do emos and the Twin Towers have in common? There were two, but now there are none.

Why were the Twin Towers mad? They ordered pizza, but all they got was plane.

I used to have a fear of hurdles.

But I got over it.

I'd make 9/11 jokes, but they'd just crash and burn.

What did the orphan get for Christmas?

Lego figures from his friend, but they ran away too.

Not totally a joke but... What do all these rape joke naysayers have in common with rapists? They are also forcing themselves on others.

"Give it to me! Give it to me!" she yelled. "I'm so wet, give it to me now!" She could scream all she wanted, but I was keeping the umbrella.

I was driving with my parent and shouted, "It's a superhero!" But I didn't know it was an emo kid.

I would roast you but you're already so hot.

I was once friends with a schizophrenic emo. He tried high-fiving a tree, but it only left him hanging.

I would say a good joke, but all the good ones Argon.

Jack and Jill went up the hill. So Jack could lick her candy.

But Jack got a shock and a mouthful of cock.

Because Jill's real name was Randy.

I would tell a 9/11 joke, but they usually crash and burn.

My parents were concerned when I said I like to bleed, but at least I cut my risk of cancer and stroke in half.

People in plays say that everyone's life is a drama, but mine's a tragedy.

What sucks but doesn't suck?

Vacuums!

I got some new jeans yesterday, until I realized they didn't fit me around the waist, so I went looking for a belt. I couldn't find one. Then I had a really good idea. I could attach a ton of watches together to make a belt! But then I just thought it was a waste of time.

I've been trying to find jokes about gouging my eyes out, but I couldn't see any.

Suicidal ideation is like wanting to slaughter someone but knowing/feeling that you can't. It's also, in a way, kind of like seeing a really hot chick that you wish you could F, but you again for whatever reason you either feel you can't or you just can't.

I’d make fun of transgender women, but that’s low hanging fruit.