But jokes

Rey: Join me, Ben, you don't have to be alone anymore, join me.

Ben: But Rey, I've always been solo.

I went to go hang out with the emo kids, but they already did.

when someone says to cheer up: you, I never thought of that. :)

-> in reality, :( (sob)

depression is no game, and here in this world, we are here for each other, although at times it might not seem like it.

Keep strong, and you'll find the end of the tunnel, but ending the pain and being gone just spreads depression.

I asked a Scottish friend of mine how many sexual partners he'd had. He started counting, but fell asleep.

Hot women with big boobs work at Hooters, but where does a handicap woman work?

IHOP.

I was going to make a chemistry joke. But it looks like I won’t get a reaction :)

What's an African's favorite sport to play, but they can't? Water polo.

When someone has an imaginary friend, you call them weird and crazy.

But when a group of people have an imaginary friend, you call it religion. :)

An obese, depressed mother is trying to tie a noose, but can't reach it, so she calls her son for help.

*A few minutes later*

son: There.

mother: Where did you learn to tie such a good noose?

son: Dad showed me before he died.

mother: DAMN HIM TO HE- *slips and the noose chokes her to death*

So Santa fell down the chimney, but it was a lit chimney...his name's no longer Santa. It's Crisp Cringle. Pls send help :)

My girlfriend tried to make me have sex on the hood of her Honda Civic. But if I'm going to have sex, it's going to be on my own Accord.

Kid sees their grandma taking pills and asks...

"Grandma, why do you need to take all those pills?"

"Well, Grandma needs to take the green medicine for her headaches, but the green pills give her diarrhea. So grandma needs to take the yellow pills for diarrhea, but those pills always make grandma very depressed. Because of her depression, grandma needs to take the black pills, but those always give her high blood pressure. To cure the high blood pressure, grandma has to take the red pills, but those make her always very horny. That's why grandpa has to take the blue pills."

Bill Cosby on rape: "But, I heard, 'my body, my choice.'"

What is something feminists crave but will never get? Semen.

I tried to tell an orphan a knock-knock joke, but sadly, there was no door to knock on.

Flat Earther pickup line: "The Earth may be flat, but Uranus is round."

When you go over a speed bump, but you remember that there are no speed bumps in the school zone.

How many people does it take to screw in a light bulb? It takes two, but don't ask me how they get inside.

My ex still misses me... But her aim is getting better every time!

My mother didn't want me to love my sister. That made me angry. But then, one day I found this quote: "Keep your friends close and your enemies closer." Since that day, I fuck my sister hard and my MOM harder!