But jokes

Me: I broke me bum.

Dad: Oh, that is bad. I will get some Pooh in the toilet so I can heal your bum.

This is about Gwen.

I don't know her, but people are just causing too much drama over one person who never said one thing to them.

Normal people have a four-head, but bro... you got a fourteen-head.

Bully: Your fat.

Me: Fat is something to fix, but your face isn't.

Alright ALYA and drew ALYA's boyfriend!! Have a good fucking life, I hardly even think drew is real but uk whatever I've passed on but DREW if u fucking wanna beef, I'll fight u bro, ur prob a stick, I'm fucking doing push ups 4 times a week 100 each.

My wife and I went to the bar to get a drink, but 2 mins later, I see her dead on the ground. I guess she couldn't see the bottle flying at her face. Then I laughed and went home.

- All over it like a fat kid on a cupcake.

- Giggling like a room full of fat kids.

- Drinking 8 cups of water a day seems impossible, but 8 beers and 3 shots in 3 hours goes down like a fat kid on a seesaw.

Gwen: Prince, they told me you'd be crying back. What do you want?

Prince: Nothing...BUT CAN WE GET BACK TOGETHER!?!??

Gwen: Sorry...BUT...I have a life to live now. I'm logging off this site and going to watch some TV. I'll be back in 1 hour, but we are done...DONE...DONE.

People have houses, but I don't have a house because I don't have parents, said the orphan.

I cut my dick. It is all right now, and half the size but makes for excellent breakfast.

If you buy two condoms, but you're banging a woman, it's fine, don't throw it away, just make her transgender.

I dunno man, worked for me.

Why were the people in 911 devastated?

They ordered extra flavored pepperoni pizza, but all they got was plane.

I may not be the brightest candle on the cake, but you can still blow me.

My wife is pregnant with a 3-year-old, so I gave her medicine, but now she’s pregnant with a 5-year-old.

You may not like me, but you still look up to me.

I love telling good news to my patients, like they survived the crash but their family died.

My mum told me to take you to the zoo and throw you in the lake, but I couldn't find you.

Hey so I like orphan jokes, and some of them are fun, but I think that's engonp.

Guys talk to me is what the emo loner said, but seriously, talk to me.

You so fat you got thrown out the window, but the window threw you back inside.