But jokes
They call me Juan, they call me Jose, but I'm Juan person.
Wow, Aiden, maybe you've been mean to Tenya. She is hurting, close to killing herself, but hey, I can pick your ass since, ya know, that is what I do!
That moment when you think the music is loud enough to fart and no one would notice, but then you realize that you have headphones on.
Q: I often think I'm ugly, but then I think of my sister and get over it.
I had the BEST day EVER.
1: I woke up.
2: I met someone I'm sad about.
3: I had fun and got them back again online.
But sadly the order was 2nd, 3rd, 1st... XD
When your mom comes in at night then sees your... sleeping, but sees something moving, so she gets a chair and whacks it, then she says, "I thought it was a mouse."
Why was 911 annoyed at the pizza guy?
Because they ordered meat lovers, but they got plane.
What goes up but never comes down?
Water in Australia.
What’s the difference between a lightbulb and a pregnant lady?
Answer: You can unscrew a lightbulb, but you can’t unscrew a lady.
I have some words that might make sense to girls, but maybe not to boys, ready?
smart
kind
sweet
caring
loving
mature
I'm really bad at giving directions, but don't take that the wrong way.
Life is beautiful, but you are ugly.
If you are on here, don’t hate. There will be rude ones, but it doesn’t matter.
How many squirrels does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Two, but how they got in there's the real mystery!
What is the difference between the human and a tree and a house that has to walk home and walk walk home from school? Was your name in your house? I did not have any good time for dinner today, but I did have a good night's sleep.
What did a tree do for a human rights day at a tree?
I had no time today after a night with you today, but you walk away.
What goes up but never past the digits 15?
A Make-A-Wish kid...
I tried to play with rock, but it was hard.
What did the toilet paper say when he got stuck in a crack on the side walk?
"I got stuck in a butt crack!"
Chris started to tell me a joke about a nut, but he couldn't finish it.