But jokes

For me, the best part of depression is remaining charming around strangers but saving the misery for the ones who love you.

The people in the tower ordered a pepperoni pizza, but all they got was a plane.

Me: "Gift a homeless kid iPhone 7."

The kid: But it has no home button.

Me: Exactly. 💀

I arrived at basketball and I asked little Jimmy if he brought the basketballs, and he said, "Nope, but I got two right here!"

Why did the Twin Towers report to the pizza restaurant?

Because they asked for pepperoni, but they got plain.

What goes up stairs but doesn't move? Stairs! Laugh now!

Genders are a lot like the Twin Towers.

There used to be two, but now it’s just a sensitive topic.

When I got to you and I was android and we were all in Minecraft for the last two years and we had the same problem UI with you anymore but you can see it on Instagram that it is not a real time thing or a android.

Orphan: Where are my parents?

God: New York City.

Orphan: But they used to live in China.

Just saying this, but I hate how many little kids there are on this site, and when they post, they have the worst posts about "sex", so I'm just saying how they act immature.

When you are stressing from homework, just do some skateboarding and kick butt.

Stephen Hawking is the real Slim Shady... but he can’t stand up ☹️

Me and my wife love playing table tennis. I couldn’t win all day, but when it got dark, I managed to beat her. I don’t know how the police found out so quickly.

I saw a small kid crying, so I asked him, "Where's your mom?" but he started crying, so I left the funeral. 🙂🙂

Why was 6 afraid of 7?

'Cause 7 8 9.

But why did 7 eat 9?

'Cause you need 3 square meals a day :D

White people can't say the N-word, but at least they can say, "Thanks for the warning, officer," and "Hi, Dad."

Guys, I know this is kinda weird, but everyone who wants to... Put your name and your age in the comment section. Not address though because that would not be good for creepers... Lol I am Lucy and I am 15 years old. What about you guys? :D

Gwen, hi, this is well, I am not saying, are you a girl? I thought you were a girl, but I could be wrong.

There was once a small earthquake, but when I got outside, I realized my brother was still stuck inside. When I told my mom, she just said, "It doesn't matter, you're my favorite anyway!"

Friend 1: How come when you say "apart" your lips move apart, but when you say "together" they move apart?

Me: Maybe your lips want a divorce.