Business jokes
A weasel walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Wow, I've never served a weasel before, what can I get you?" "Pop," goes the weasel.
How many Lowe’s could Rob Lowe rob if Rob Lowe could rob Lowe’s?
I used to work at a candlestick factory, but only on the wickends! It was illuminating!
Joke: Why did the gym close down?
– It just didn’t work out.
A horse walks into a bar. The bartender said, "Why the long face?"
Why can't Americans trade with other countries? We lost the trading center!
My favorite sex position is the McDonald's.
Ba da ba ba ba, I'm lovin' it!
What do you call a cow grazing a field with 50% grass and 50% weed? High steaks gambling.
I heard every single machine in the coin factory just broke down all of a sudden.
It just doesn’t make any cents!
Two men were bartering over a marble slab. A lot of counter-offers were made.
Can orphans eat at a family restaurant?
If you start at a bait shop, you're an amateur baiter, but once you achieve the highest level, you become a master baiter. Now buy a shrimp boat and become a master baiter on a shrimp boat.
Why did the man decide to work at a pizza place? Because he kneaded the dough!
How do we know the Ancient Egyptians were into organized crime?
They were always using pyramid schemes!
How to decorate a wall:
Strip off the paper and original plaster.
Put on fresh plaster and wallpaper.
Paint it (if you want).
Send a bill to North America and wait patiently for a reply.
A man opened a snail farm.
He said that it is a slow-moving business.
Never invest in funerals. It's a dying industry.
Where do Dairy Queen and Burger King go after dinner?
White Castle.
What did the watch say to the failing watch company?
"You better watch it!"
What happened when the gun dealer found his pistol in his shoe?
He found that he had a piece in his sole!