How are peppers 🌶 so nosey?
They get jalapeño business.
Why does Samsung sell TVs? 'Cause they make them! 😂🤣
Badass Toilet Paper Company: We don't take shit off of anyone.
Sign outside a hair salon: "We'll color your hair or dye trying."
An unfortunate accident happened at the Nestlè factory. A man named Joe was seriously injured because a box of chocolates fell on him. Every time he said, "The chocolates are on me!" everyone cheered.
My pal asked me why nobody wants to eat the spaghetti he makes in his restaurant.
Well, because it's impastable.
Q: Where does a one-legged waitress work?
A: IHOP.
Where do walls shop?--Walmart.
What do you call Dominos when it doesn't know how to cook pizza?
Domi-don't-knows...
Why didn't the butcher cut the fillet?
Because it was a misteak.
Man asking waitress, "Pardon me, miss, may I ask you about the menu, please?"
Waitress, "It's none of your business about the men I please!"
Why do elephants never get rich?
Because they work for peanuts!
What’s the difference between Burger King and Ron Jeremy?
BK doesn’t sell real meat.
How to get 1000 followers on Instagram?
Run through Africa with a bottle of water.
What's the difference between the Grand Canyon and a blonde?
The Grand Canyon is a busy ditch.
When your wife gets pregnant and you don't want a kid, just come on down to Momma Mia's Pizzeria and abortion clinic!
Welcome to codi's pizzeria and abortion clinic; your loss is our sauce!
McDonald's was originally called "Mac and Dick," so, if you think about it, you could be enjoying a Big Dick instead of a Big Mac.
Arby's fast food and abortion clinic: Your dead babies are our taters and gravy.
So, this guy walked into a cannibal bar. The barista asked him what he wants, and the man ordered water. Then he left, because he wasn't a cannibal and just wanted a glass of water.
