What's the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer? A hooker can wash her crack and resell it.
Did you hear about the restaurant they're putting on the moon?
Good food, but no atmosphere.
What did Pennywise become after LEAVING the circus? Ex-IT.
What do you call an angry shopper?
A cuss-tomer.
Video game company names always make me make puns I didn't intend to.
Have you ever seen the clown in Walmart that hides from gay people?
No..... Really?
Hahaha
Grasshole.
If Bruno Mars was to run a pub and sell chocolate bars other than alcoholic drinks, then he'd have to call his pub a Mars Bar!
What happens when Steven Hawking dies?
Take his iPad to Cash Converters.
I picked up a document, and I started to feel cold.
I looked down at the document, and it read "DRAFT."
What is a carrot's favorite shop?
The wheelchair store.
She was only a potato chip manufacturer's daughter--but she was Frito-Lay!
What do you call a restaurant that sells food that contains weed?
McBongald's.
Why did the girl quit her job at the donut factory?
She was fed up with the hole business.
Why did the gym close down? -- It just didn't work out.
I just ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon.
I'll let you know.
I started a company selling land mines that look like prayer mats. Prophets are going through the roof.
Yo mama stops at the PokeStop... to buy a Big Mac.
How does a prostitute make more than a drug dealer?
Because she can clean her crack and sell it again.
