Bus jokes

I've been trying to find jokes about gouging my eyes out, but I couldn't see any.

All aboard the Magic School Bus! We are going to New York. The second tower has been hit.

What's yellow and can't swim?

A bus full of kids.

"Why did Susie fall off the swing?" "Because she had no arms."

"Why couldn’t she get up off the ground?" "Because she had no friends."

"Knock knock." "Who’s there?" "Not Susie, she’s still on the ground."

"Where did Susie go when the bomb went off?" "Everywhere."

"Why couldn’t Susie scratch her leg?" "Because it was in a different body bag."

"Why did Susie drop her ice cream?" "She was hit by a bus."

"Why did Susie fall off the swing?" "Someone threw a refrigerator at her."

Why did the basketball player not get on the bus?

Because he couldn’t be caught travelling! 😂

I walked up to a man, and he said, "How's the weather up there?" and then I pushed him into the street to get hit by a bus.

Can’t believe how ungrateful my dwarf next-door neighbor is. I saw him waiting at the bus stop earlier today and offered to give him a lift, but he told me to “fuck off.” In the end, I decided to just close my rucksack and walk away.

What's yellow and can't swim?

A bus full of children.

In the bus, you can't spell "black" without "back."

When I was in middle school, I was on my bus and people were doin' hairline jokes, and I heard this guy say, "Your hairline goes back to... uhhhhhh... 2042?"

(Bus Driver) What did you learn in school today?

(Kid) We learned that you are a sussy baka.

(Bus Driver) Oh yeah? Well, I quit!

(Kid) Quit what?

(Bus Driver) Living.

(Kid) But it was a joke!

(Bus Driver) Doesn't matter. I will die, but you will still be alive.

(Kid) Ok.

(Bus Driver) That was a joke, too!

Why didn't Sally get home from work?

She got hit by a bus.

A man comes home, and the wife says, "My ex just died by getting hit by a bus." And the husband said, "I lost my job as a bus driver."

Yo mama so fat, I have to take a train, 2 buses, and 3 airplanes to get on her good side.

What's overcrowded and uncomfortable?

My mind.

What's white at the front and black at the back? A bus.

What's black and yellow and can't swim?

A school bus full of orphans.

Everyone always has a special person in their life someday, but I think yours got ran over by a bus.

How do fish get to school?

On a octobus.

Lol.

Tonight, on Top Gear!

James May dives a bus full of kids off a mountain!

Richard Hammond starts WW3 in Germany!

And I fly a plane into the World Trade Center!