Bus jokes

1.) What’s yellow and can’t swim?

- A bus full of children.

2.) Did you hear about the Pillsbury Dough Boy?

- He died of a yeast infection.

3.) I will never forget my grandad’s last words...

- “You’re still holding the ladder, right?”

4.) I have a fish that can breakdance...

- Only for 20 seconds though, and only once.

5.) Give a man a match and he will be warm for a few hours...

- Light a man on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life.

Why did the frog take the bus to work?

His car got toad.

Man: Aw man, I'm having a bad day.

Man's friend: Same.

Man: So why did you have a bad day? My brother got hit by the school bus.

Man's friend: I got fired as a bus driver.

Man: Oh great heavens!

If you're pro-life, I hope you get hit by a bus today!

Why do orphans live on buses?

They never have a home to stop at.

Why do orphans ride the bus? Because they have no parents to drop them off.

Imagine you go to school, right? You hit the curve, the bus driver be like, "Ahhh, how do I stop the bus?" Students from the bus jump from the windows. One of the students: "That's a YOU problem."

How do bees get to school?

They go on a school buzz.

What do you call a bus full of kids? A killstreak.

Why couldn’t Billy go to school today?

The bus driver hit Sally.

What did the bus driver say to the nut 🥜?

"Where do you live?"

So, a bus crashes, killing everyone on the bus, and God feels so bad that He gives each one a wish.

The first person comes up, and she wants to be beautiful, so God makes her beautiful, and she goes into Heaven. The next person comes up, and he says, "I want to be beautiful as well." As this goes on, the last man in the back begins laughing a little, everyone becoming beautiful, until God asked the last person what they want, and he said, "I want everyone in front of me to be ugly again!" So God had to call the based department and gave him everything that last guy wanted.

Yesterday on the school bus my friend in front of me said she was 41% Irish and 15% Mexican.

Then my friend sitting next to me said, “Wow, almost half leprechaun!”

Then I said, “Yeah, and 15 percent wall climber!”

There was a man in a wheelchair, and he got knocked out in front of a bus. He had a wheelie good life!

Why did they make bus stops? So the bus driver would know where to pick the orphan up.

What is a bus ride that is dumb? A boring one.

Somebody asked Rosa Parks what color the Skittles were, but she answered everything was black and white.

Are you a school bus? Because I want to fill you with kids.

I saw a fat woman at the bus stop today, so I asked her, "When's it due?"

She replied, "I'm not fucking pregnant, you rude prick!"

I said, "I meant the bus, you fat cunt!"

Why did Little Johnny drop his ice cream?

Because he got hit by a bus.