A little chimney said: "Ooooh, I think my house owner is making a fire in me! I'm about to smoke!"
The big chimney said next to him: "Well, you're too young to smoke..."
My brother and I were roughhousing and accidentally knocked over our bookshelf. My mom came in and started asking who knocked it over, to which I replied that I only had my shelf to blame.
Hey, can I axe you a question?
My brother likes to build "traps" to capture our cat so he can pet it. I said it wasn't gonna catch anyone, he replied with "not going to stop who?" I told him not to worry that it could capture any two.
Fact: If you jump off a 12-story building, you will not like the result.
Can a kangaroo jump higher than a house?
Of course, houses can't jump.
A drunk walks out of a bar late at night and sees a nun walking past on the footpath. He utters something hateful to himself as he begins running, building momentum before launching himself at the nun, catching her with a massive superman punch to the back of the head, knocking her tumbling brutally to the pavement.
He proceeded with a swift kicking to the nun's ribs and spine before grabbing the nun by the scruff of her habit and lifting her limp to her feet till face to face. Looking the nun dead in her eyes with menace, the drunk victoriously growled, "You're not so bloody tough tonight, are ya, Batman?"
Where do you think all the orphans went?
In the World Trade Center, I trapped them in so they can finally get to their parents.
The last time I had flying lessons, I hit some building in Manhattan. Then my Uncle got shot in 2008. Darn...
Do you want to hear a joke about a construction?
Sorry, still working on it!
America: I'm going to build a wall.
Nazi: Been there.
Soviet Union: Done that.
I have a really good construction joke, but I’ll have to post it later because I’m still working on it.
Why are basements so scary? Cuz of the mail.
Three construction workers were sitting on the bridge that they were building, having their lunch break. The first guy says, "If I get a Vegemite sandwich again, I am going to jump off this bridge." The second guy says, "If I get a peanut butter sandwich again, I am going to jump off this bridge." The third guy says, "If I get another strawberry jam sandwich, then I am going to jump off this bridge." The next day, the first guy gets a Vegemite sandwich, the second guy gets a peanut butter sandwich, and the third guy gets a strawberry jam sandwich. All three guys jump off the bridge and die. The next day at their funerals, the first wife says, "If he just told me, I would have given him a different sandwich." The second guy's wife says, "It is all my fault. If only I knew." The third wife says, "I don't get it, he makes his own lunch."
Why do ghosts love elevators? They lift their spirits!
My teacher started talking about houses, then I said I don't want that informansion.
Never trust stairs, they're always up to something.
I don't trust stairs. They're always up to something :D
A man walked into a bar. No wait, a horse,
A man walked into a horse.
Why did the tall building fall?
It was September 11th.
Who are the Fastest Readers in the world?
9/11 victims: They read 87 stories in 10 seconds.
Yo mama's so stinky that whenever she walks into a building, the flies drop dead!
