Brother jokes

Man: Aw man, I'm having a bad day.

Man's friend: Same.

Man: So why did you have a bad day? My brother got hit by the school bus.

Man's friend: I got fired as a bus driver.

Man: Oh great heavens!

I went to school on a Saturday. My teacher asked why I am here, so I replied that my brother told me to go to hell.

Why do orphans play with other kids on a playground?

So they will sneak into their parents' car to be a brother or sister.

You're so ugly when a pig saw you, he said, "Yes, my brother is back."

My dad is really angry at me for kicking the balls. He's the one that told me always aim for them. Is that why I don't have a brother?

I am Mario's brother.

I got $1,000,000 for my brother. Best trade I ever made!

What do you call an orphan that has a brother? The second one without one.

Yep, if someone says to you, "I can't roast trash," say, "Well, some trash is used for recycling, and that is why you have a baby brother!"

David’s parents have three sons: Snap, Crackle, and what’s the name of the third son?

Answer: David.

Family all eating at the table.

Brother: "Hmm, I think I feel gold."

Sister: "Stop the cap."

Brother looks under the table and says, "Nope, just a gold digger."

Dad laughed.

Stepmom storms out of the room.

Hello, I'm C-3PO. And this is my brother, WD-40.

Question: Why does my teenage brother wear a cape to bed?

Answer: Because he can't sleep in his race car bed...

What did the boy say to his brother at chemistry class?

"Hey BrO!"

Last year, I gave my brother a BB gun for his birthday. He gave me a T-shirt with a bullseye on it.

I asked him what the bullseye was for. He said, "Target practice."

Lil bro's hairline is making me hungry wit that M shape also hitten me wit that damb batab bat bat baaa.

My doctor asked my brother if anyone in the family suffers from mental illness.

He replied: "No, we all seem to rather enjoy it!"

Why is the older brother's kid brother that has autism always performing fellatio on his older brother?

Because he wants to find out how many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop.

After I see an anime boy acting cool,

Me at school acting cool:

My brothers: "He's just acting cool."

Me: I'm gonna kill u 0.0

My brothers kept annoying me.

I told them I would disembowel them if they kept it up.

It was an empty threat—right after I was done.