My brother caught Covid last month.
First I knew about it was when he speed-dialled me at 3am and gasped, "I can't breathe, I can't breathe!"
I just told him straight: "Bro... you really need to work on your George Floyd jokes."
What do you call a group of brothers who fuck one another?
Super Smash Bros.
Bro, your hairline is so far back not even Dora the Explorer can find it!
Bro, tampons look like sperms, and they go up your coochie.
Teacher: "Ok class, what animal jumps the highest?"
Kid: "A leopard."
Quiet kid: "No, it's emo kids. Some of them are still in the air."
Kid: "Broooooooooooo."
My friends were the pilots on 9/11, they told me, "Bro, chill, it's just a prank!"
My cousin said being gay was such a pain in the ass and I asked him why and I said, "Cuz you get buttfucked?" and he said, "No, I get made fun of." and I said, "Why? Cuz you get buttfucked?" and he said, "No, turd." Then I said, "Wow, at least I'm not the one with real pains in my ass, bro."
Me: Bro, I don't think the Twin Towers will ever order pizza again.
Friend: Why?
Me: Because when they ordered pepperoni, all they got was plane.
Bro, I thought your hairline was the Dorito logo.
🗣: "Stop making suicide jokes!"
"Don't worry bro, I'll end it soon."
Bro, Kobe Bryant is singing with the basketball team in his helicopter, celebrating right now, I bet.
Oh wait, I forgot.
Man: *steals drink*
Boy: broðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Man: Why are u crying over a drink?
Boy: That had drugs.
Man: ....
You're gay.
Bro, I am straighter than the pole that your mom dances on for me every night.
Bro, your hairline is still missing. Even Dora the Explorer can't discover it!
Me: *posts random joke about a duck*
That one guy in the comment section for no reason: "Shut the f*uck up you dumb b*tch you are a piece of sh*t you..."
That other guy in the comment section: "That’s actually offensive to ducks."
Bro it’s a joke...
Bro, your toenails are bigger than your IQ.
Bro, yesterday this bird made the weirdest chirp. It sounded something like this:
"Error code 6, 4, 4, 2, sound: bird call, failed to play, government drone 0, 7, 7, 5 requires maintenance."
Anyone know what bird that is?
You: Bro, this school picture is soooo ugly!! (Points to yours).
Me: Bruh, you just typed up mirror!
Bro, I'm so gay I can't even spell straight.
Bro, the US keeps bullying the UK because the queen died, and do you know the meme "No Bitches?" Yeah, they put "No Queen" instead. And guess what? The UK replied this time and said, "No Towers?" I was shocked. UK's most devious lick.
