Break jokes
I had a goldfish that could break dance on the carpet... but only for, like, twenty seconds and only once.
Why’s it so hard to break up with a Japanese girl? You gotta drop the bomb twice.
Why did the tornado take a break?
Because it ran out of wind! 😂
Why can't orphans go to the hospital? Because it is a family hospital. Sorry for the long break in between my jokes. I just had some family stuff, but I am back.
Why did the emo break up with her boyfriend?
He didn't wanna hang out.
Me verses my mother
Getting hurt is a bone-breaking experience. It's such a spine-tingling event!
What commitment does a pimp make to each new hoe he turns out?
Answer: He will always be there for her after the break-in period.
Why did the ocean break up with the pond?
Because the pond was too shallow.
People say that they can read people's faces; then how come nobody sees me breaking inside?
Why did the chicken cross the road?
He was just feeling like he needed a break, you know? Life is hard when you're a rooster looking after your hen and chicks. He just wanted a sense of normality, walking out of the farm. He felt light-headed, staring into the distance. Then, at this very moment, he realised it was his darkest hour.
Join us for more of the story, after the break!
Girl playing outside: "Step on a line and you break your mommy's spine." She then steps on a line and her mother keels over screaming.
Girl playing outside: "Step on a crack and you break daddy's back." She steps on a crack the mailman next door then keels over screaming.
The husband starts celebrating, gets in the car, and starts to drive away.
The son comes outside and steps on a crack.
The dad then dies in a car crash.
"Humpty Dumpty sat on the wall, Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.... All the king's horses and all the king's men, COULDN'T PUT HUMPTY TOGETHER AGAIN."
"Rock-a-bye, baby on the treetop when the wind blows the cradle will rock when the bough breaks the cradle will fall and down will come baby cradle and all
Rock-a-bye, baby on the treetop when the wind blows the cradle will rock
when the bough breaks the cradle will fall and down will come baby cradle and all"
Anyone else finding the hidden horror in these?
How did the retard win the break dancing competition?
He saw flashing lights.
Never break someone's heart, they only have one. Break their bones instead, they have 206 of them.
Break a wine glass: I give you bad luck for a year.
Break a mirror: Funny wine glass, I give you bad luck for 7 years.
Breaking a condom: Haha so funny mirror.
What do you call an Irish man that breaks up fights?
Liam Malone.
Pick up lines.
"One fish, two fish, three fish, I’m breaking up with you, b*tch!"
"Hey there little mister, I’m dating your sister."
Don't break someone's heart because they only have one; instead, break their bones... they have 206.
Breaking news: Man with Alzheimer's forgets he's blind and recovers from visual impairment.
Crack me, break me, love me, and you ate me--egg.