Break jokes
Why did the astronaut break up with his girlfriend? - Because he needed some space.
A father and three sons are renovating a house when a wall of that house collapses and breaks the father's back. Keeping calm, he tells the sons, "Well, I guess this is what you would call back-breaking labor." He chuckled, then passed out from pain.
Why’s it so hard to break up with a Japanese girl? You gotta drop the bomb twice.
Why did the tornado take a break?
Because it ran out of wind! 😂
Why did the emo break up with her boyfriend?
He didn't wanna hang out.
Memes
Me verses my mother
Why can't orphans go to the hospital? Because it is a family hospital. Sorry for the long break in between my jokes. I just had some family stuff, but I am back.
Getting hurt is a bone-breaking experience. It's such a spine-tingling event!
Why did the ocean break up with the pond?
Because the pond was too shallow.
What commitment does a pimp make to each new hoe he turns out?
Answer: He will always be there for her after the break-in period.
People say that they can read people's faces; then how come nobody sees me breaking inside?
Why did the chicken cross the road?
He was just feeling like he needed a break, you know? Life is hard when you're a rooster looking after your hen and chicks. He just wanted a sense of normality, walking out of the farm. He felt light-headed, staring into the distance. Then, at this very moment, he realised it was his darkest hour.
Join us for more of the story, after the break!
"Humpty Dumpty sat on the wall, Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.... All the king's horses and all the king's men, COULDN'T PUT HUMPTY TOGETHER AGAIN."
"Rock-a-bye, baby on the treetop when the wind blows the cradle will rock when the bough breaks the cradle will fall and down will come baby cradle and all
Rock-a-bye, baby on the treetop when the wind blows the cradle will rock
when the bough breaks the cradle will fall and down will come baby cradle and all"
Anyone else finding the hidden horror in these?
Girl playing outside: "Step on a line and you break your mommy's spine." She then steps on a line and her mother keels over screaming.
Girl playing outside: "Step on a crack and you break daddy's back." She steps on a crack the mailman next door then keels over screaming.
The husband starts celebrating, gets in the car, and starts to drive away.
The son comes outside and steps on a crack.
The dad then dies in a car crash.
Break a wine glass: I give you bad luck for a year.
Break a mirror: Funny wine glass, I give you bad luck for 7 years.
Breaking a condom: Haha so funny mirror.
How did the retard win the break dancing competition?
He saw flashing lights.
The mirror says: "If you break me, you will have 3 years of bad luck."
The Magic Jewel says: "If you break me, you will have 10 years of bad luck."
The condom just sitting there laughing.
What do you call an Irish man that breaks up fights?
Liam Malone.
Don't break someone's heart because they only have one; instead, break their bones... they have 206.
Why is it so hard to make friends in Antarctica?
Because you cannot break the ice.
I was at my grandparents' and saw someone breaking into a car. I told my grandpa, "He's trying to break into the car!" He said, "No, ours is in the garden."