Bowl Jokes

The coach of the Detroit Lions had put together the perfect football team. But then his quarterback got blindsided and was out for the season with a knee injury.

Then his backup went down with a concussion. He tried the trading route, free agents, but nobody any good was available.

One evening while watching the news from Iraq, he saw a young Iraqi soldier with an amazing arm. The soldier rifled a grenade on a perfect arc into a 4th story window from 100 yards, bam!

He tossed another directly into a tight group of 12 enemy fighters 80 yards away, ka-bam! Then a humvee passed, going 60 kph, boom! Another perfect shot!

Coach said to himself, "I got to have this guy. He's got the best arm I've ever seen!"

He tracks him down and convinces him to come to Detroit. The kid takes coaching perfectly, makes all the plays, and long story short, the Lions win the Super Bowl.

The Iraqi is now the Conquering Hero in pro football, and a huge story. But when the broadcast team tries to interview him, all he wants is to phone his mom.

"Mother," he yells over the phone, "We just won the Super Bowl!"

"Don't talk to me," the woman says. "You abandoned us. You can't be my son."

The young Iraqi begs, "Mom, you don't understand! Our team won the biggest game here in the U.S. Thousands of fans are screaming for me. The U.S. President is going to call me!"

"I don't care," his mother snaps. "Right now I can hear gunshots everywhere. Our block is like a ruin. Your brothers were beaten half to death last night, and your sister was nearly raped."

Then she says, "I can never forgive you for making us move to Detroit."

Two fish in a bowl, First fish asks "Haven't i seen you around here before?" The second fish replies "F**k me a talking fish!!!!"

How do you get a baby into a small bowl? A blender. How do you get it out? Tostito chips.

I asked a Japanese chef how to make a good bowl of ramen, he said "Let me show you."

How do you make Alabama cookies? Put them in a big bowl and beat for three hours.

Yo' Mama is so fat, her cereal bowl comes with a lifeguard.

Are u a chipotle bowl cus i wanna eat u out.

How do you confuse a fish?

Put it in a round fishbowl and tell it to go to the corner!

During the holidays in the fruit bowl, the orange walked up to the banana and said "Berry Christmas!"

what's the difference between a blonde and a bowling ball?

I can only fit 3 fingers inside the bowling ball

How do you get ten babies in a bowl?

A blender.

How do you get them out?

Doritos.

What's the best way to get ten babies in a bowl?

A blender.

What's the best way to get them out?

A blender.

Yo mama so stupid, she went to the Super Bowl with a spoon

A man walks into a diner one day, walks up to the counter, and proceeds to order a bowl of chili.

The waitress says that the man sitting next to him just ordered the last bowl they had. That man was just sitting there, not eating the chili.

After watching him not eating for a while, the first man asks him, "Are you going to eat that?"

The second man replies, "No, you can have it if you want."

So the first man takes the bowl and starts eating.

About halfway through the bowl, he's chewing when he feels a crunch. He looks down only to see half a dead rat sitting in the chili.

He immediately throws all of it up, back into the bowl.

The second man looks at him and says, "Yeah, that's about as far as I got too."

A Japanese, Hispanic, and Iraqi man are in a plane. The Japanese man drops a bowl off of it, and shouts "I love my country!", Then the Hispanic man drops a burrito off the side and shouts, "I love my country", finally the Iraqi man drops a bomb, and shouts, "I love my country!"

Not much longer on, a man walks by a boy who is sitting by a crater laughing non-stop. And the man asks, "What's so funny?" And the boy says "When I farted my house blew up!"

Once I had a cat. The cat liked human beverages. One day I decided to throw a party. The cat went over to get some soda. There was a line. I told him that he needed to wait in line. The line was too long for the cat. Then he walked to the punch bowl. He saw that there was no punch line. Very much like this joke.

There was a cheerio that had a job, he worked hard at it and the boss came up and promoted him to the vice president of the cheerios. So he needed a speech, he kept practicing and practicing and know he was thirsty. it was almost time for his speech. so he went to the drinking fountain but there was a huge line. So he went to the lake but he saw tons of garbage, and what he thought was a cereal killer. so he found this bowl of punch, but he relised... there was no punch-line

*bowl of dark grapes* Friend 1: I like my grapes how I like my men Friend 2: Black? Good one Friend 1: 21 at a time

What do you call those dead pieces of green stuff left in the bottom of a bowl of Caesar salad?

The last romaines. Now lettuce pray for them.

What do you call a chicken looking at a bowl of salad?

A chicken sees a salad( chicken Caesar salad )