Bout

Bout jokes

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Mum

  • Bruh, people always makin' jokes 'bout how their dad left, well in my story it was the mum that needed milk.

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  • Mom

  • Mom: Anna, let your younger brother have the sled one half of the time, and you the other half. That way it will all be fair, and I don't have to put up with this crying. I've already got seven others to take care of.

    Anna: I do, Mom. I have Fred (younger brother) go up, and I go down!

    Mom: Good. Now how 'bout the rest of you go play outside? It's beautiful out there! It's the warmest it's been all year, 45 degrees below 0!

    Kids: Wow! I never thought it would warm up! I love Alaska!

    Monster

  • A man came up to a girl about to jump off a cliff. The man said, "Why?" She then replies, "There are many monsters in this world, and I am one of them."

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    Jeffery Dahmer

  • Jeffery Dahmer has two things: an RV and a pit.

    What is different about the two is that one can't move and one has gas.

    But what is similar is tha-

    Wait, what is Jeffery doing? He has a knife, he is pulling men's pants down, he is...OH SHIT WHAT THE F-!

    Sorry 'bout that......

    Now, as I was saying,

    What is similar about the two is that one has and is a cockpit.

    Wait, a cockpit- JEFFERY WHAT THE F-!

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    Would You Rather

  • Friend 1: Eyyy gurl

    Me: Hey! (Fake smile)

    Friend 2: Hey g-guys what 'bout we play would you rather?

    6 hours later

    Friend 2: So (name) would u rather? 1. "Hang" out with me Or 2. "Jump" 1 times?

    Me...e-eh?...Why not both????? We could just "Jump" while "Hanging" out right?

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    Ovation

  • I played piano at a Worthmore disabled elderly center. Then after I was done, I said, "How about you give me a standing ovation?"

    I regret it to this day. Now I am forced to live here at Worthmore, and sit on my wheelchair, sad and lonely.

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    Taco

  • Does anyone else like Tacos? C'mon let's Taco 'bout it!!! :p Hey, Tacos are made of atoms too......

    9/11

  • Person 1: Did you hear the joke bout 9/11?

    Person 2: No, but it'll probably crash and burn.

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    Trump

  • "(live comedy club) Foul Mouthed Trump Hating Comic:

    ......"Hey how 'bout that Donald Trump chump, what the fuck up with that dude, man? Geeeezus, he got some kuh-razy ass shit spewing endlessly out that pie-hole, 24/8!" (< leap week, muthafukas!) . . . "I mean, even his last name rhymes with shit that's synonymous for being fucked up, for instance"....

    STUMP: TEENY DICK

    BUMP: TINY TIT

    GUMP: DIMWITTED MOVIE IDIOT GUY

    MUMP: A FUCKED UP CHILDREN'S DISEASE

    LUMP: IF IT'S MALIGNANT, YOU'RE KINDA FUCKED

    UMP: OFTEN MAKES TERRIBLE CALLS

    RUMP: AN ASS

    DUMP: A PILE OF SHIT THAT CAME OUT OF AN ASS

    HUMP: SOMETHING DADDY DID TO HIM DAILY THROUGHOUT CHILDHOOD

    PUMP: SEE "HUMP" . . . and last, but definitely not least --

    JUMP: JUMP INTO A DEEP HOLE MOTHER FUCKER, AND GO TO HELL!!

    .... "Well that's about it for me as my explosive diarrhea is about ready to take a turn for the worse!! ......(splort!, plop!)....... OOOOPS!! ..... sniff, sniff........ Ewww!" (audience roars) "Fuhhhhk!". . . I better go, 'cause I just went!! ..... Ha! ha! ha!" . . . "Thank You Lazies and Gerbilmen! Good Night!!" ............

    (endless laughter, guffaws, cheers, jeers, queers, beers, pants pee-ing, beaters beating, pepper sprayin', guns poppin')

    "OH LORDY!!... HELL HATH FINALLY COMETH, AND ARMAGETTIN' THE FUCK OUTTA HEEE!!"

    (quick curtain call, and off to waiting taxi.........with the windows down) .......Amen."

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    Nacho

  • A Nacho has a problem going on, and the Taco says to the Nacho, "Wanna taco 'bout it?"

    And the Nacho says to the Taco, "It's nacho problem!"

    Taco

  • I always talk to my taco before I eat it.

    One time it said it was having a bad day and I asked what's wrong. He said I don't want to taco 'bout it!

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