Book jokes
What did the math book say to the other math book?
Wanna hear my problems?
I speak for the trees.
*Trees whisper in my ear*
They said six million wasn't enough.
Salman Rushdie got a new book out.
It's called "Buddha. You Fat Cunt."
What is the best way to end a cookbook?
And that’s a wrap!
Why do midgets need a lot of books at school?
So they can reach the top of the desk.
I’m reading a book on antigravity right now.
It’s impossible to put down.
There was a dino at the library today.
It was reading a thesaurus.
I was sitting in math class, and our teacher doesn't like it if we don't work on math in his class. So, I did science homework on top of a math book.
Have you heard of the new book about anti-gravity?
Well, I just can't seem to put it down.
A man walks into the library. “Hello ma’am, I’d like to borrow a book about committing suicide.” The librarian replies, “No, you won’t give it back.”
How did Helen Keller’s parents punish her? They handed her a basketball and told her to “read this book”.
Me: I finished a book with 100 pages.
Someone else: How was it?
Me: It's a long story.
My junk was in the book of world records until I got kicked out of the library.
What do planets like to read? Comet books!
What's the most unrealistic part of Harry Potter?
A ginger with friends.
What do you get when you mix alcohol and literature? -- Tequila Mockingbird.
Stormtrooper: What should I do about my overdue library book?
Palpatine: Renew it!
This guy walks into a library one day and asks the librarian for a book on how to commit suicide.
The librarian says, "F*** no, you won’t return it!"
I gave my blind friend a cheese grater for his birthday. Next week he told me it was the most violent book he ever read.
What do you call a hot Mac Book Pro?
A Mac Daddy Pro.