Me: (pointing up in the air) "Everybody listen up, this is a robbery!"
Girl: "Dude, this is a library."
Me: "Oh." (screwing on a silencer)
what do you say to a fat Asian? you got more chins then a Chinese phone book
My friend surprised me for my birthday with a book called ‘Road-Kill Recipes’. I did find some roadkill the other day, so I cooked it according to one recipe and it was delicious. I’m just not sure what I should do with the bicycle.
I’m reading a book about Anti-Gravity. It’s impossible to put down!
Stephen Hawking never wrote a book... it was a Dragon who was naturally speaking.
Q: What was the name of Michael Jackson's last book? A: The ins and outs of child rearing.
Whats the difference between a boring teacher and a boring book? You can shut the book up
My cock was in the book of world records... The librarian told me to take it out
A doctor fell into a well and broke his collarbone. The doctor should attend the sick and leave the well alone! (from a 1940 quotations book)
I bought my blind friend a cheese grater for his birthday. A week later, he told me it was the most violent book he ever read.
Did you hear that Stephen Hawking wrote a new book...it's called "Around The House in Eighty Days."
A man goes to the library to find the best book about committing suicide. So when he asks the librarian, "What's the best book on committing suicide?" The librarian said, "Oh fuck off...you won't bring it back anyway."
What's the difference between a Mexican and a book The book has papers
me/Hey what book are you reading? him/" the twisted ones "me/ uh I guess that book is pretty TWISTED
Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He just stares them down and gets the information he wants.
Why did the math book go to the psychologist? -- It had too many problems.
Why did the library book go to the doctor? -- It needed to be checked out.
What does one math book say to the other? -- "Don't bother me. I've got my own problems!"
A man walks into a library and says to the librarian, "Do you have that book for men with small penises?"
The librarian looks on her computer and says, "I don't know if it's in yet."
"Yeah, that's the one!"
My penis was in the Guinness book of world records. -- Then the librarian told me to take it out.
